Guitar Zero to Hero

Year of the Water Dragon

2012-01-23T02:37:00.007+08:00

Adorable new living room clock

I pasted wall art along the stairway

Baking

Chocolate chip cookies

It was supposed to yield 4 dozen but I ended up with 11 dozen I don't know why.

Yu Sheng a few hours ago

I've finally finished reading One Day which I borrowed from Claudia approximately one month ago. Speaking of which, I haven't seen her since that day! HELLO I MISS YOU.

I started my first day of work at the dog cafe at Nex on Tuesday. It was surprisingly busy, not quite what I expected for a Tuesday. Apart from breaking a glass cup on my first day of work it was okay. Tiring but alright. I guess I was lucky that the boss wasn't around during my shift because from what I heard from a fellow trainee, she was very strict and fierce. I also feel like I'm severely underpaid and I feel like quitting this job but I'll work a few more times first.

Meanwhile I'm gonna start work at A&F this Thursday! I foresee myself being extremely lost on the job but I really can't wait to start work proper. I'm kinda in need of money. Heh.

Oh, and happy lunar new year! I had my reunion dinner at a restaurant. Our dinner was supposed to start at 5.30pm but we only started an hour later thanks to my grandmother who decided to go all drama-mama on us. She comes up with something every single year which will cause everyone around her to get annoyed and unhappy and even causing inconvenience. Also, my aunt's husband actually took a cloth napkin that belongs to the restaurant and put it into his bag discretely BUT, thanks to my penchant for observing people, I SAW IT and I was like all WTF?! Seriously? Restaurant napkin also want to steal? I never liked him one bit and this thing he did just made me dislike him even more. Thank God I'm not related to him by blood or I'd severe all possible ties with him long ago. I'm serious.

So there you go, a snippet of my (rather dysfunctional) extended family.

Today will be a day of visiting relatives that I only meet once a year, and of course there'll be typical questions that the adults are going to ask me. Finish A levels already? Wah so fast! When are your results coming out? Must get all A's ah! Which uni do you plan to go to? What do you intend to study? Are you learning driving? So what are you doing now? Etc.

I always envy some/most of my friends who have such joyous, close-knit families where all the cousins play mahjong and daidee and all that typical fun stuff that big groups of kids play. I've never had cousins the same age or around the same age as me so I don't have anyone to play with. It's just my sis and I in our own world, estranged from all my relatives. That's why every lunar new year is boring (and might I add sad) to me.

So I hope my friends will have a happy, unboring lunar new year playing with their cousins unlike me. I'll be concentrating on eating pineapple tarts and collecting red packets instead. :)

P.S. I'm thinking of changing my blog layout. I love my current layout a lot though which is why I've been using it for a long time now, which is why I feel like I ought to change it. So change? Yes no?

My life in Instagram pictures, or most of it

2012-01-14T00:25:00.008+08:00

First pictures of 2012

Cheese fries

Blueberry muffins generously topped with awesome streusel

Crushed Candy crackle glaze. It saddens me that I can't wear any nail polish because of my jobs. :(

Beautiful sunset

Raisins and cranberry muffin baked by yours truly

Red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting! Ever since that two times I tried making frosting but failed, I grew scared of it but I tried it again this time and succeeded! Yay! So this is my best cupcakes yet because of the frosting. And my frosting skill isn't so bad for a first-timer. I used a normal plastic bag, cut a small hole at the corner and piped the frosting out.

I baked 19 of these for Pauline's birthday surprise/picnic!

Pauline's birthday surprise/picnic at Botanical Gardens

One out of the many many jump shots we took

Beautiful beautiful Botanic Gardens

Cute duck

Chee cheong fun from Old Airport Road. It's the BEST. I mean it.

The famous most melt-in-your-mouth beancurd

My current read since.... last year. LOL. I'm a slow reader.

Lor Mee at Serangoon Gardens Market. I love Lor Mee.

Dinner at Ikea just a couple of days back.

Apple cake for dessert

Instagram is such an addictive app. Especially for people who like taking pictures. I like taking pictures of food. I'd take more pictures of animals, if I had any, but I don't. Anyway, if you have an iPhone and don't have Instagram, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? Go download it! Now! And have fun!

busy start

2012-01-04T01:05:00.003+08:00

3 days since the start of the new year! I'm officially no longer in formal education which means I no longer have the privilege of cheap student transport fares anymore. :(
I remember complaining about being too bored at home and procrastinating about not doing what I wanted to get done. Well my prayers (or complaints?) were probably heard and answered because I'm suddenly finding myself pretty much occupied now.

I took up tuition assignments with the help of my sis (screw tuition agencies haha) although I have no confidence in teaching O Level chemistry. Oh God why did I even say I could try teaching when I've all along had difficulties with said subject myself! And I'm starting tuition today (wednesday) and I haven't really had the time to revise because, well, it's been a very busy day. On Tuesday, that is.

Also, I'll need to start going for training for my temp job, don't know when yet. I'm supposed to get a confirmation call today. So I'll be waiting.

I also emailed the dog cafe at nex looking for a job and I really wanna try working there because I've been there with Claudia and her dogs once and it seems like a nice environment and I can get to see cute dogs while I work. But since I've already been hired by the above-mentioned, I don't know if I can squeeze in two jobs plus tutoring in 7 days. Okay 6. I need one "me" day okay.

Busy busy busy!

in short

2011-12-29T15:47:00.003+08:00

Last week:

Supposed to volunteer at ACRES with Claudia but it got cancelled so we decided to bake at her house! She baked oreo cheesecake which my mom liked. I baked blueberry scones which were tasteless. :\ This is probably the last time I'll bake scones. Lol.

I went out on Christmas eve for some Christmas shopping. Had lunch at Marche and dinner at Sushi Express! Good food and great company! :)

Spent Christmas at Marina Bay Sands hotel! Thanks to Tham who got a free room (she always gets a free room there). We went to buy ice cream soda, pepsi and vitagen to mix with the vodka and breezer. Some combinations were really bad, some were good. Haha. Visited the sky park for the first time! It was extremely windy that night.

This week:

Went out on boxing day. Vivo was packed with people. :o Dinner at Marche again. I can't get enough of their rosti. Haha.

Went for a swim with Sis! My shirt tan is starting to get replaced by my swimsuit tan. Also improved from 16 laps to 26 laps in an hour. My rests were also shorter. Yay!

I made blueberry muffins out of the remaining blueberries left in the fridge. They were getting old. I wanted to make other blueberry stuff like cookies but my mom preferred muffins so muffins it was! Baked even more muffins using a mix of raisins and cranberries. I haven't tasted it yet but they do look promising!

AND I am still not done packing my room. I have not done anything about my hair. I have not gone to the bank to apply for my debit card. I have not registered for BTT. I have not gotten a job.

Ah, procrastination. And various other reasons, like my home is still being painted so I have to be home most of the time.

Christmas wish

2011-12-25T01:30:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! In this season of giving, I hope all of you reading this, however few (lol), would do some good. If you haven't already know about the "battle" between AVA and animal activists on the Punggol stray dogs, it is basically about the AVA stepping up culling of stray dogs in the Punggol area after a recent case of a jogger who was attacked by some strays there.

Before you make any judgment on the strays, do think about this: To the stray dogs, that particular area is their home. Therefore, to them, they have every right to protect their home from any "intruders" which happened to be the passing jogger whom unfortunately is afraid of dogs. Anyone afraid of dogs would naturally become frightened and may instinctively react by staring at the dogs, shouting/screaming or running away. All these actions would trigger the dogs' natural response which is to defend themselves and their home.

In my opinion, the AVA's decision to step up culling is highly unnecessary and uncalled for. When humans attack another human, those humans are sent for trial, sentenced to jail, a fine or maybe even allowed to be released on bail.
Why, then, are we treating the dogs like they are murderers when they did not kill anyone at all? Why are we sentencing them to death without even giving them a chance like we do for humans? The dogs were acting on their natural instincts which was to protect their territory. I do not believe that we should treat dogs, or any other animals, lower than us.

That aside, animal activists have so far rescued a few stray dogs from the site and they are all looking for good homes. I would definitely adopt them if I could but this ain't my house and my parents refuse. So all I can do is help spread the word about them. In this season of giving, all I ask is for your support. Every single person counts. If you can, give a Punggol dog a home. If you're helpless like me, help spread the word. You never know whose ears your words will reach.

Please support by liking the facebook page HERE and also share their updates on your facebook newsfeed. That's all I ask from you this Christmas. Thanks guys. I love you all!

ACRES Volunteer Appreciation Night

2011-12-17T15:43:00.006+08:00

On the bus!

While waiting for the next bus.

Certificates!
It was supposed to be at the roof garden but it rained so this was the wet weather venue
Free goodies from Starbucks

Claudia kept saying this guy looks like Daniel Radcliffe. I think it's just his jaw.
Hello new friends

Late night walk

Peace

Twister fries are back!

This got knocked over somehow and it was all over the floor. We helped pick them up.
Quiet basement of Raffles City

Left a post-it note for Chippy's

On the train back
Waiting for the bus home!

I haven't worn a dress out in almost 10 years, excluding SN graduation night two years ago and my mom's relative's wedding dinner at Sentosa this year. My mom laughed at me for wearing shorts under my dress but hey you can't blame me!

Anyway, it took Claudia and I a long time to get to NTUC building because of heavy traffic and all. Thank god for iPhone and Google maps! The turnout wasn't big. There were refreshments from Starbucks. I like the lemon cupcakes! Should try to bake them one day. We also got a bottle of body wash from The Body Shop and an ACRES bookmark as a door gift. It was almost 9 when the event started. Brief preview of volunteer opportunities for next year, certificates were given out, entertainment by some balloon artists and there was pinata whacking too in which Claudia got called out for. I took a video. Hahaha.

It ended around 10pm. We went for a late night walk from the NTUC building to Raffles City! Good thing 133 runs pretty late.

Blueberry muffins

2011-12-13T00:50:00.002+08:00

Today, I baked blueberry muffins! Because I got mom to buy blueberries a few days back at the supermarket. They were on sale and all berries are usually freaking expensive so why not? The house is now filled with the aroma of cinnamon and freshly baked blueberry muffins. Hehehe.

My days are boring because I'm mostly stuck at home. Reason being that the house is getting a new coat of paint and my mom doesn't want to be alone at home with the painters. I haven't found a job yet because I have no friends who want to go job searching with me. Boohoohoo. I'm still in the midst of packing the room and I'm stuck because I really do not have proper places (aka shelves) to put my stuff. Dad says his contractor friend can only help us with the room's makeover after CNY NEXT YEAR. How to pack the room like that?! :\

Prom

2011-12-07T00:29:00.002+08:00

I'm looking at some of my friends' prom photos all over my facebook newsfeed. They're from other JCs by the way. And it looks like they all had a great time.
Tomorrow night would be my school's prom. My very first prom involving both guys and girls now but... I will not be going.

Some reasons would be
1. It is pretty expensive. Not going would save me (or my mom) some money. Plus I wouldn't have to worry about finding the "perfect" prom dress, get makeup and hair done in a hurry and all that jazz.

2. We need to form tables of 10 by ourselves. Sounds easy but if you were me or had the class I had, you would understand why and that's my next point.

3. My class is, sad to say, not bonded at all. Since we can choose to sit with people outside our own class, I figured some of my classmates feel closer to their CCA mates and would be forming tables already. Like a close classmate of mine had.

4. My class is segregated into tight-knit little groups. Sitting with any of the "groups" would, I predict, be awkward and... just awkward. It wouldn't be as fun. Trust me, I know. Plus not many in my class are going.

5. Shooters who are going would most likely sit with their own classes which are much more bonded than mine. :-(

So there. My JC social circle and life is just so pathetic like that. Sigh. I really envy my friends who have such bonded classes that they are practically family. They do everything together and I mean everything. I look at my class and I'm like zzz.
No offence to my classmates okay. I still love them as friends and individuals and in their little cliques but not as a class. That's my luck I guess. :\

Yes, prom is a one-night only thing, a once-in-a-lifetime thing and I shouldn't be missing it. Yes I will be able to see my friends in pretty dresses and handsome suits for once. I know I'll miss all the glitz and glamour, the rare chance of taking photos with my friends looking like superstars. I know prom would be fun, but only if you have the right company. Unfortunately, I can't find the right company and so I think I'll be happier having a movie marathon at home tomorrow night than sitting at a table being socially awkward around people I can't keep up a conversation with.

My plans for 8 months

2011-12-02T23:18:00.005+08:00

1. Pack the study room
2. Revamp the study room (replace old furnitures with new!)
3. Become a wildlife guardian at ACRES and volunteer at their roadshows
4. Get a good source of income
5. Work/intern at a vet clinic?
6. Get a debit card
7. Shop for new clothes and stuff
8. Do something to my hair besides cutting it (rebond again? dye? highlight? dip dye? what colour?)
9. Meet up with friends, old and new!
10. Go swimming regularly!
11. Maybe go running regularly
12. Read bookssss
13. Bake!
14. Get The Sims 3 Pets expansion pack and PLAY IT.
15. Learn driving and get my driving license!!!

That's about it. I'm hoping my future job(s) will keep me busy for the long holidays. I really don't know if I should work at a vet clinic to get some experience. I don't even know how to find a vet clinic who wants to hire. And with how my A levels went plus many other pragmatic factors, I'm starting to reconsider my options. So what other temp jobs should I take up besides tutoring?

Also I really don't know what to do with my hair! Should I rebond it again or go for curls? Should I dye my hair or dip dye my hair? Or just have highlights? And what colour(s)!! Omg so many choicessss.

Goodbye A Levels!

2011-12-02T01:57:00.001+08:00

Left out. Again.

2011-11-29T22:19:00.001+08:00

Apparently I'm not important to those whom I consider to be important to me.
Am I really that invisible? Am I that easily forgotten?
If I vanish from the earth, would any of you miss me or remember that I ever existed? Yeah, I guessed not too.

The A Levels

2011-11-21T23:06:00.003+08:00

I'm about 80% done with A Levels and all I'm left with are Chemistry and Biology MCQ papers which are more than a week away. So I'm taking the chance to relax today, and maybe tomorrow, and the day after... Heh. I watched Tintin with my mom and sis after my Bio P3 today. It was freaking awesome! I would love Steven Spielberg very much if he decides to make a second Tintin movie. Haha.

Anyway, the A Levels hasn't been very merciful at all. There is not one paper which I can confidently say I did alright in. Maybe it's true that I haven't been working very hard at all for this exam, compared to some/most of my peers and even when I was preparing for my O's. And my level of concentration and focus now can never be compared to my psle days. Haha.
I've had my fair share of distractions ever so often thanks to the iPhone and its easy accessibility to social media platforms like YouTube and Twitter. Mostly Twitter. Sigh social media look what you've done to me!
However I can't say that I slacked off completely as well. I mean I did put effort into studying. I have been staying up till the wee hours of the morning to study when I have a morning paper the next day. I'm currently surviving on 4 hours of sleep right now.

So I'm not gonna have any high expectations of the results I'll be receiving in March next year. I'll worry about that when the time comes. As for now, I'll be making my post A's plans, settling all I need to do after my exams. And, of course, study for my last two papers.

This is what I call music

2011-11-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

Until then.

2011-10-16T16:54:00.001+08:00

Can't wait for this day to come. (May I add that Real Steel is a really really good movie!)

The Power of 26

2011-10-16T00:41:00.000+08:00

Baccalaureate

2011-10-15T01:00:00.007+08:00

These guys make my days in school so much better.

I got a broccoli with sparkling candles instead of a birthday cake. LOL.

Cake-cutting with the shooters!

Lol omg gross

Spot Brandon

Letters and gifts :)

From Pri, Amanda, Ben and Jas.

From the class (my letter E fell off somewhere)

Baccalaureate was on Thursday, last day of lessons on Wednesday. It was bittersweet. Econs was the final lesson on our timetable and our tutor gave us parting gifts of Steve Jobs' inspiring speech and Kinderbueno. She did not teach and went on to show us her hiking photos. Pretty cool. And somehow I felt sad, though I've always tried so hard to stay awake in her lessons and had no idea what's going on. I felt like crying hearing her speak. But of course I held it back.

It was the last lesson in this college after all. Sure I always complained of waking up early to go to school daily, complained of climbing 5 floors almost every single morning, struggled to stay awake as lessons went on, dreaded certain subject classes, wishing time would go faster so it would end, complained of how long the journey home takes. No matter what, there will always be a part of me that will miss all these.
Even though my class hasn't been that bonded all along, always divided into separate cliques that kept to themselves most of the time, I will miss them. We actually had a successful class outing after Baccalaureate. Near-full attendance for once! I doubt that's ever going to happen again. We had lunch at Vivo and watched Abduction on a whim.

Sometimes I used to wonder if I made the right choice to come to AC. Sometimes certain events made me regret it. But you know what they say about the choices you make and the things that happen to you. Whatever happened in these two short years have changed me and how I think quite a bit. I will miss this school.

As you can tell from the pictures I also had my early birthday celebration on Thursday. Thanks everyone for making it awesome! Words can't express how grateful and happy I am. :)

Calvin and Hobbes

2011-10-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

I want to go stargazing one day.

2011-10-07T18:11:00.001+08:00

So I guess I should stick to keeping things to myself after all. This is why I don't usually get too attached to people or things. After awhile I get too comfortable with them my inner self starts to reveal all kinds of bad traits in me. It's a bad thing. I think, no one will probably ever be able to accept me at my worst. This is why I never really talk about anything "deep" with anyone.

And people always wonder why I'm usually quiet. Why I don't talk much. This is why.

Roof Kitty

2011-10-01T23:35:00.005+08:00

On Tuesday morning before I went to school, I saw a kitten stuck on the roof of my neighbour's house and I couldn't stop thinking about it since then.

I was extremely worried for it because I had been hearing it mew incessantly for a few days before that. It probably had been there all this time and I was so worried. Like where's the mother cat? Why is it all alone and how did it get up there? Has it eaten anything at all for the past few days? My mind was just preoccupied with the kitten and all these thoughts I couldn't even concentrate in lectures and tutorials.

Tuesday, my mom said she never saw any mother cat throughout the day when I was in school. When I got home on Tuesday, I climbed onto the bed in the study room, peeked out the window facing the roof where the kitten usually stayed. Sometimes it went away, along the row of roofs. If the kitten was there, I would sit there and observe it for some time, looking out for any signs of injury or fatigue. Thankfully there was none.

Wednesday was my long day in school because I had GP mock papers all the way till 6plus. Why this Wednesday of all other Wednesdays?? I really wished I could have gone home straight because I usually end at 12.50pm. During my lunch break, I called home to ask my mom about the kitten. She said she hasn't seen it. I was worried sick and assumed the kitten probably hasn't eaten for days. After my GP papers, I made a stop by Pet Safari at Nex to buy a small can of cat food even though it would be impossible to give it to the kitten. But just in case. At night, I heard its calls again. And I was glad it was back at the same roof, still alive and safe.

My mom told me she didn't see the kitten on the roof while I was in school on Thursday as well. When I was home in the afternoon, I started hearing the sounds of two kittens and one adult cat. I looked out of the window and saw the little white kitten walking along the roof. I looked down at the drain and saw, very much to my excitement, a mother cat with another kitten! That must be Roof Kitty's mother and sibling! I watched the mother groom its kitten and let it suckle her while Roof Kitty mewed non-stop, calling for its mommy. The mother and kit walked down the drain and I couldn't see or hear them anymore. I anticipated the mother to jump onto the roof and feed Roof Kitty or something but she didn't. I didn't see her again. Roof Kitty, still mewing, walked back to the usual roof and it was like how I had observed the previous times. It remained pretty quite for the rest of the day.

Around 1am, as I was preparing to go sleep, I decided to check on Roof Kitty again. Roof Kitty's mainly white fur made it relatively easy to spot in the darkness and there it was on the roof, mewing again. Very soon I heard the mother cat and second kitten's calls as well. Roof Kitty was pacing the edge of the roof, wanting to jump down but knowing it is too high to jump. This continued for quite awhile and I was still waiting, wishing, hoping for the mother to reunite with Roof Kitty.

Finally, I saw the mother cat jump up along the wall and onto the roof. The tabby silhouette of the mother and the white ball of Roof Kitty together at last. I happily texted Claudia about it, as she's the one I've been seeking advice/help from. I was so relieved that Roof Kitty was not abandoned and starving after all! When I looked out the window again, they were gone and the night was quiet once more.

For the first time since the day I saw Roof Kitty, I was able to go to sleep with a peaceful mind that night.

It's been two days since then and it has been quiet without the mews or sight of Roof Kitty. It's a good thing. But I did hear kittens from the drain this evening. So I can safely say that Roof Kitty has been reunited with its mother and sibling, hidden safely at the drain.

It still puzzles me though, why one kitten would be on the roof while the other was down at the drain. And if Roof Kitty was stuck on the roof, why didn't the mother bring it down until so many days later? And how did Roof Kitty get up there in the first place?

I guess these are mysteries that will remain unsolved.

I need a happy meal

2011-09-23T21:06:00.004+08:00

I've been extremely upset with this certain matter ever since last Sunday night, or something like that. I have chilled but the bitterness remains. So this is going to be a rant post. Read it or leave it at your own will.

Okay. So. My school has this event called Honours' Night whereby students receive awards for their commitment and achievements in CCA or service to the school. I heard that nearly half the cohort got an award. That's about 400 plus recipients.
Anyway, the people who get the award are class representatives, councillors, CCA leaders in clubs and societies and of course those who did well in CCA competitions be it performing arts or sports. I have many friends who got it and I am happy for them.

I applied for it but unfortunately was not good enough, apparently. I was honestly fine with it, though, UNTIL I learnt that a certain classmate of mine was a recipient as well. I got so mad that I could literally feel my blood boiling in me and my hands were shaking as I raged about it on twitter and to my friends. And I have good reason why I was.

That classmate is a librarian. A fucking librarian. I've been classmates with him for nearly 2 years and I know what his character is like. He does not deserve that award. I mean, so what if he's the publicity head of the fucking school library? I haven't seen him do anything special in helping publicise his goddamn CCA. I haven't even seen any goddamn publicity stunts from his CCA. Seriously, WHAT HAS HE DONE THAT ENTITLES HIM TO AN HONOURS NIGHT AWARD?

If my hours of training, all my late nights home, getting 6th place in nationals and getting 12th in individual rank isn't enough for me to get an honours' night award, I highly doubt any amount of shelving books or scanning bar codes or slacking your library duty away in an air-conditioned room till max 6pm deserves an award.

YOU CAN'T EVEN COMPARE TO ALL THE OTHER CCAs WHO WORKED INFINITELY HARDER THAN YOU.

Our symphonic band, for example, practiced till 10pm DAILY, even during the holidays. They even stayed overnight prior to their SYF in which they clinched the prestigious gold with honours award. They rightfully deserve to go up on stage on honours' night.

What about you? The latest you'll ever stay back in school for CCA is freaking 6pm. And it's not even every day. How can your hours spent sitting in the library ever compare to the blood, sweat and tears lost by all the rest? You can't.

I just feel it isn't fair not just to me or my team mates but to the other CCAs as well. It's like saying all their efforts are equal to what he has done (or hasn't done) and I really think it's unfair. He doesn't deserve that award in all my honest opinion. Screw the honours' night committee and their fucked up unjustified criteria. If I could attend Honours' Night, I would throw a rotten tomato at him when he goes up on stage to receive his bullshit certificate, but even then that would be a waste of the rotten tomato.

When the school claims they try to recognise the talents and efforts put in by every individual student and give credit where it's due, don't ever believe it. It's fucking bullshit. My dear school taught me that getting 6th for nationals and ranking 12th is worthless unlike being a librarian. OH-SO-PRICELESS THAT IT'S AWARD-WINNING. So thank you school, you've taught me a lot.

As anyone can tell from this I'm filled with bitterness and I don't think it'll wear off any time soon. Maybe I need a happy meal.

Movies watched in the past couple weeks

2011-09-19T19:03:00.001+08:00

1. The Zookeeper
2. The First Grader
3. Crazy Stupid Love
4. Johnny English

The First Grader was good. Sad thing is it was only screening at the Lido (don't know if they still do now). I wonder why major box offices aren't showing such a wonderful story and it's a pity.
CSL was good too. Johnny English was hilarious. Rowan Atkinson finally got back in action again after so long. All I've been watching of him are the repeats of Mr Bean. So it was good.

Term 4

2011-09-11T23:26:00.004+08:00

The whole mundane school routine starts again tomorrow. No doubt I'm dreading. But it's a little different this time. There's a creeping feeling of fear, anxiety, maybe stress as my final term in junior college is about to begin. The last lap to the A Levels.
It is infinitely scarier than the O Levels two years ago, because this time there's really not much option left if you fail it. There will be two paths, retake as a private candidate, or get your ass into a university under a course which you may have zero interest in. I wish for neither to happen, so it gets really pressurizing.

I took a good long two-week abstinence off studying and instead just went all out to relax, slack and do whatever I want to make myself feel like a kid again. Nothing to worry about. I am still a kid, aren't I?
After all, I won't have the luxury of doing such things anymore from here on. For the next three months. It won't be easy with my "laidback" nature, as how a primary school teacher once described me. But I will try.

During my break I spent time on the petition for the release of the wild-caught RWS dolphins and how RWS is completely avoiding the issue like a cowardly ass and now screens each comment on its facebook page. Says a lot, doesn't it, Resorts World?
And today I watched a video shared by Claudia on facebook, of Gordon Ramsay making a difference in the shark's fin industry. Then I watched him eat a cobra's beating heart. The heart was still beating and Gordon Ramsay did not feel good about it either. I thought how can these people even have the heart to do that? It's just sick.
I've known about the shark's fin issue for a long time. I tried to stand up against it, but got made fun of by my own family. I gave up quickly because I learned the hard way that no one would ever listen to a child. I hate myself for being so powerless and useless for something I really want to help make a difference in.

So I will try. I don't want to be powerless anymore.

prelude

2011-09-08T19:01:00.004+08:00

Baked oatmeal raisin cookies at Claudia's yesterday! I didn't have time to bake choc chip cookies because by the time I finished the oatmeal raisin ones it was already 6. Thinking if I should bake the choc chip cookies tomorrow since I already bought the choc chips and all. But...... seeing how I still have 3 containers of oatmeal raisin cookies to finish, I don't know if I should. I just ate 4 big cookies today.

Dinner smells good~

2011-09-08T18:43:00.002+08:00

I am about a month and a week away from turning 18 but I've come to a conclusion about myself. My thoughts, the way I expect things to turn out, how I expect others to be. I have a truly naive thinking all this while.
Must be those novels and anime and movies and drama shows.

A fine line has to be drawn between imagination and reality, and I need to learn that soon if not now.

"Keep your feet on the ground, when your head's in the clouds." - Paramore

kites, bubbles and card games

2011-09-06T22:27:00.003+08:00

Picnic food!

Hadley's shepherd's pie

Stef's baked mashed potato

Transformers edition of Monopoly Deal

Ready for smashing

Smashed!

Cute mini Poodle in a tux for his owners' wedding photo shoot

Frisbee

Kite

Someone's angry bird kite

A professional stranger helping us fly our kite

Shirt tan

Watch tan

Shirt tans

Group shot!

hot hot hot!!

2011-08-31T23:05:00.002+08:00

Back from a day at the Marina Barrage with the shooters! And the effects of sunburn are starting as it always does during/after bathing. I can literally feel heat emitting from my skin right now and the back of my neck kind of hurts. Best part is I don't recall being under the sun for long periods of time. Most of the time the sun was covered by clouds which really says something about how strong the UV rays are these days.
From the looks of it I have an ugly shirt tan and I can actually see two different shades across the length of my arms. The outer side is tanned while the inner side remains the same. Fugly tan! Why did I not bring my sunblock! ):

Anyway, it was a fun day! Everyone brought some food or drinks for potluck. Gotta thank my mom for waking up at 6AM with me and helping me with the sandwiches.
We had kites, a frisbee, mono deal transformers(!!!) edition, the normal mono deal and other cards. We also surprised Tham with a birthday cake because her birthday was yesterday! I was the brave one who smashed a cake into her face. We bought a separate small one specially for that. Lol.
Took plenty of photos as well, which of course I'm going to selectively upload some here. Maybe.
Dinner with Tham, Jon and GWT after that at Raffles City. I swear I'm not eating at The Pizza Place ever again. Then I went to meet Joan to hunt for teachers' day presents and I reached home at 10plus. So freaking tired but I'm waiting for my hair to dry and I want to watch my anime.

Life after prelims is shiok. I have been living like I don't have A levels to study for ever since last Friday. Lol.
I had the most fruitful shopping day on Saturday when I bought 3 tops at one go. And also the membership to New Look which cost me $60 and I regret it so much even though I got back a $25 voucher and a bag. And I also had one of the best ramen at Ippudo! Yum. Spent wayyyy too much in a day too. Oops.

The subsequent days are just spent going out with mom and sis or staying at home watching anime. Life is good when you're free from any burden or responsibility, even if just for awhile.

Going back to school tomorrow for teachers' day celebrations. Gotta remove my nail polish now.

Adele

2011-08-20T01:45:00.002+08:00

I have absolutely high respect for Adele. She has powerful vocals and her songs are genuine. You can easily feel her emotions when she sings.
And most of all, she didn't have to be skinny and wear skin-tight clothes, or barely any clothes to become famous. She didn't earn her fame because of feet-tapping-inducing crazy dance videos.
She became so recognized simply because of her voice. And that's why I adore her.

Respect, gurl. Respect.

saying ay-yo!

2011-08-19T19:49:00.005+08:00

First week of prelims is over! Three more papers to go and then I can have a temporary break/holiday!

Been having this continuous headache ever since exams started. Still having it now. Hurt so bad the first three days probably because they were the most brain-draining days.
Who in the right mind would put both 1.5-hour GP papers and a 2-hour Biology paper on the same day, then a 3-hour Econs paper and 2-hour Chemistry paper together the next day?!?! It was absolutely crazy and I swear my head was threatening to burst.
I am thankful the real A levels timetable is slightly better than this, although GP and Bio still remains together. FFFFFFFF.

Oh well. In a party mood just for tonight before I start mugging my ass off again. Studying is unhealthy. All you ever do in sit down at your table and study study study. Eat, study, bathe, study, sleep, study. Tell me how I'm not going to get fat in the months to come.

Happy birthday Mom! It's a pretty simple affair, just calling in delivery. I treated her to pizza. (She wanted pizza okay? Not me.) And I also sent her a happy birthday text at midnight when I was in my room studying and she was in hers. That amused her a little. :)

Three birthdays in three consecutive days! SiWai's, Mom's, then Pri's tomorrow. I definitely owe SiWai a present! Need to shop for birthday presents asap since I haven't got the time in the past week!

Sigh. Life sucks and I seriously cannot wait for 1st December to come. I wanna celebrate and live my life!

The little island I hate and love

2011-08-09T00:54:00.005+08:00

Happy birthday Singapore!
And Claudia's Cracker!
And it's also the 14th death anniversary of my maternal grandmother.

The turnout at school for national day celebrations on Monday was really pathetic. And I mean REALLY.
There were so little J2s that everyone could fit in the hall and still had lots of vacant seats. Every J2 class probably only had a single digit attendance. My class had only 7 out of 26, including me. Totally regretted going man! Could have just slept at home instead. Sigh.

At least we did have some fun after that. Watched Captain America! Do remember to stay until the end of the credits if you're going to watch it! Yes, the credits is quite long but just be patient and wait for it.

And I also caught Rise of the Planet of the Apes on Sunday night. Was pretty good in my opinion. It helped me revise a little bit of AMCB. Lol.

Anyway, why am I wishing Singapore happy birthday? Technically it isn't Singapore's birthday because Singapore was not actually born on 9th August. I think Independence Day is more appropriate. You don't hear the Americans say "Happy birthday America!" do you?
But, lazy Singaporeans being lazy, would prefer to simply say happy birthday. Takes less effort than saying happy independence day I suppose.

Happy independence day/birthday Singapore. Indeed it's quite incredible how fast a small little island has progressed in 46 short years. I love and hate being in this country at the same time. Hate that there are absolutely - I dare say - ZERO opportunities in my field of interest. At the very most near-zero. I just hope that will change one day. That is my one wish for Singapore. Come on, Singapore, give me a reason to stay here!

one week left

2011-08-05T23:48:00.000+08:00

what would you do?

2011-07-29T21:32:00.003+08:00

Hi. Haven't blogged in two weeks, I know. School is just filled with revision, revision, and more revision. So many of my classmates tend to skip school on certain days, believing that it's a waste of time and studying at home would be much more productive. I think I might be doing the same next week. It's the last week of lessons before we get our study break for prelims. SCARY.
But it has been better. I mean my mood and such. Thank God for friends who make me laugh all the time.

I'm pathetic at softball, like all I ever am for all the sports I try my hands on. SIGH.

I think all I ever talk about on my blog is school these days. How boring.

I watched the final installment of Harry Potter and it was freaking good!! The theatre at Tiong Bahru is pretty empty. But there were three girls sitting in the middle row, a few rows in front of us, who were talking so loudly during the movie, moving around, taking pictures of themselves IN the theatre (WTF????). FOR THE WHOLE 3 HOURS! I really don't know why they were even in the theatre watching the same movie as us. I thought those bitches didn't deserve to watch Harry Potter since it didn't seem to interest them one bit. I got so pissed that I shushed them several times. SO FREAKING ANNOYING.

Bitches aside, I really liked the movie. I have never read the books even though my sis has the entire collection so am I still called a fan? Okay I don't really care but I love watching the Harry Potter movies and it's sad that it has come to the end already. My childhood. :(

I wouldn't mind watching Deathly Hallows 2 again, but this time in 3D! Or IMAX as highly recommended by Grace. Hahaha. But I don't think that's gonna happen, seeing how prelims is so near and all. Prelims is a little more than 2 weeks away and I haven't revised any of my J1 shit. :(

Yeah I just talked about school again. Lol. Well, not like I have any other life right now that doesn't revolve around academics.

Anyway, after PE ended at 4.30pm today, this group of J1s were making a commotion at the bleachers. Turns out they were chasing a small little grey rat. A guy used an empty plastic box file to trap it and everyone's attention was on it. Some girl took her oh-so-fanciful DSLR and started taking pictures of it, being trapped under a clear file, under the eyes of many astounded humans. The guy who was obviously feeling heroic for his "bravery" laughed at the rat who was trying to get out, and so did many of his classmates.
I imagined how the rat must have felt. Such a small, cute little rat. Extremely terrified. Confused. Threatened. Anger started burning up in me. But before I could say anything, Ernest exclaimed "Animal abuse!"
I then snapped out of it and said, "Can you let it go?" More in a demanding tone than a question. And some of his classmates chimed in. The "hero" was now probably a little guilt-tripped by his action and lifted the file off, letting the rat go.
On hindsight, I should have been braver. I should have acted faster. I probably should have just lifted off that guy's stupid file and fling it into the drain or something. I should have.
But I'm glad the rat got away from those immature kids safely.

Sometimes,

2011-07-12T22:26:00.003+08:00

I really just feel like throwing in the towel and say, "Okay, I give up! I surrender!"

I feel so tempted to give up but I can't. I know I can't. I can't give up not when I'm only 17 weeks to the big A's. I can't give up when I've already struggled for so long and have made it this far. I can't give up for the sake of myself, my parents, those who care about me. I can't give up because I have a dream which I told myself I had to reach.

But all these things that are supposed to keep me going, somehow makes it all too overwhelming. All my constant worries seem to drain me of my energy and spirit. So much that it makes me wonder how long more I can fight on.

I struggle so hard to stay awake in class, to pay my best attention, but I don't know why I'm always so, so tired. Everyday I get home, I end up doing nothing but studying. I honestly hate myself for feeling so fatigued for no reason at all.

My mind wants to cave in so badly but here I am, attempting to walk with a lion's heart.

2nd July

2011-07-09T23:47:00.014+08:00

My favourite and proudest shot of the day

The crowd

Our tickets

The emcees

A Red Lion in the sky

Landed!

Emergency unit

Cute robot thingy that deactivates bombs.

First female regimental sergeant major. Women power!

Firing

Giant Dim Sum. LOL

Seashells

Accidental bokeh effect of some purple fireworks. Hahaha.

Flashlights from the fun pack

Some confetti? I don't know.

Fireworks

Supper with family

Just realised that I should have uploaded my photos in large size instead of medium. But it's too troublesome to reupload everything when Blogger only allows me to upload 5 photos at a time.
So here you go! A peak of what you'll be seeing on TV coming August 9th, brought to you by yours truly.

WATCH THIS YOU WILL NOT REGRET

2011-07-03T23:53:00.001+08:00

Such a beautiful story and film. I really really want to watch this!

failure4lyfe

2011-06-30T16:21:00.002+08:00

Been feeling so melancholic these few days. I feel so useless, worthless and helpless.

Econs paper yesterday made me frustrated with myself even though I knew this was coming. The state of public transport during peak hour gets on my nerve so easily. Certain things kept happening which really made me upset and affected. Probably due to all the stress I'm putting on myself. And maybe PMS adds fuel to the fire. I dunno. Sigh.

Got back my exam papers and I passed those that I should be passing. They aren't good passes at all and I have only myself to blame for that. But it's an improvement from terms anyhow.

I can already feel the introvert in me starting to take over. At times I just want to be in solitude. And I've said in the past how I hate to feel left out or ignored but I haven't minded much about that these days. Sigh. Not good at all.

And it doesn't help that I have to start writing my SGC soon. A reminder of how much of a failure I have been the past year. Just that this time it's gonna be printed out and put into a folder that will follow me for life.

Cooking with Claudia

2011-06-29T20:14:00.002+08:00

Made Dinner with Claudia last Thursday. Here was what we made!

1. Garlic mashed potatoes

2. Risotto with mushrooms and sun-dried tomatoes

3. Garbanzo beans with spinach and yogurt

4. Creme caramel

The risotto was damn filling and maybe a bit drier than it should be because we cooked it some time before dinner. It was pretty good though I don't know how a risotto should taste like since I never ate it before. Claudia's mom rated it the best among the 3 mains. The mashed potato could use a little more seasoning but I love potatoes so it still tasted good to me. Hahaha.
Spinach was alright. The creme caramel didn't turn out right because it hadn't fully settled. But Claudia ate some again the next day and it turned out perfect according to her. So... yeah. Haha.

After dinner we just rolled around on her bed. I painted her nails and we started on our scrapbook, the one that I gave her for her birthday. We looked through all our old neoprints to fill up the spaces and we even looked at her primary 6 autograph book which has my autograph in it! We also found a couple of old photos. So cute. Hehe. And the ton of neoprints we took over the years is just... wow. We must have spent a lot on them. Lol.
Good times, good times.
We have now filled 3 pages of the scrapbook. Many more to go (hopefully)! :)

Dread

2011-06-26T22:43:00.004+08:00

It sucks to know that when I go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow, it'll be the continuation of a vicious cycle they call SCHOOL.

I can't believe one month just went by like that. And before I know it, I'll be sitting in the exam hall with the papers that cost my parents more than 400 bucks.

Oh my god it is getting quite scary as we get closer to the year-end.

Scary.

I miss those times back in Primary school where I'd actually be looking forward to school more than the holidays. School was fun and I enjoyed learning.

Now... I don't even seem to have a reason to look forward to school anymore. Going back to school just makes me feel miserable being surrounded by people who makes you feel pathetic, inferior compared to them. Those people who makes you feel like shit. I'm not talking about those I'm closer to of course.

I miss the times where I could come back home from school and take long afternoon naps or watch tv the entire day and not having to feel guilty about it. Now whenever I do something besides studying or doing homework, something inside gnaws at me telling me to start soon or my future will be ruined.

I have never dreaded school this much. Sigh.

Okay I should sleep soon to gear myself up for the term of hardcore mugging. Even though I probably won't be able to sleep this early. At least school for me ends at 1.10pm tomorrow.

somewhere only we know

2011-06-19T22:32:00.009+08:00

Woke up at 4.45AM this morning. Got out of bed at 5AM. Mom fetched me to Lavender station and I had to wait outside the station because it didn't open till 6AM. And the train did not arrive until past 6.30AM. That was the time I was supposed to report at SP. Zzz.

I swear public transport should operate 24 hours and I think a lot of people would agree with me. People wouldn't have to worry about missing the last train/bus home. People would be able to get to work/places on time if they have to report very early in the morning. Good point, yes?

Okay as I was saying, I took the first train available to Dover and I was still late! But it's okay I wasn't the latest. And when I reached Dover my classmates were already gathered there. Haha. We were given a shirt to wear for the event. Turned out we were gonna be road marshalls for the cycling route.
Joan and I paired up and stationed at some point along the first half of the circuit. Best part was we were done by 9? Lol. Then we got goodie bags and were dismissed.
Joan and I headed to City Square Mall to get some shorts from Cotton On! (:

I didn't take a nap when I got home. Neither did I do any work. Tumblr is too distracting. Sigh.

Frolick at Holland V with the guys after CO concert last Sunday

Rosti!

Pizza!!

Baked potato at City Hall

Strawberry shortcake ice cream from Cold Rock

Pancakes from Strictly Pancakes

Blueberry muffins with cinnamon crumb topping! I baked these on Friday! Taste pretty good and I'm not saying that because I baked it okay. I mean the recipe made it awesome!

You can get the recipe here

Timbre with Claudia on Friday night after my baking stunt. First time there! :) My fringe is hole-y and I look pale and tired and every other word to describe my unglam-ness. Bah. ):

Vegetarian pizza was yum!

Waiting for the last train on the circle line.

Crepe from Marche

Salmon Rosti from Marche

Been eating so much good food. No doubt I've gained weight this month. ):

The time of my life

2011-06-15T18:28:00.002+08:00

I did the most historic thing of my life yesterday: buying a dress.

Something that I last did for St Nicks' grad night in 2009. Since many many years ago I stopped wearing skirts and dresses. Those who know me well enough would know this by now. The only skirts/dresses I ever owned are my school pinafore, current school skirts and CO skirt for performances. Now I decided to wear a dress to a relative's wedding next Saturday. I have no idea why but I just felt like doing so. Hahaha.

So anyway, I got my dress from Forever 21. It's like one of my favourite places to get accessories and clothes. :)

Been going out every day for the past four days. CO concert, Band concert, eating, shopping and more eating. Gosh I feel like such a pig. :(

Today, I had to go all the way back to school just to hand in a piece of GP essay which Joan forced me to start on at 1AM last night. I was then supposed to meet her at 9am at Serangoon station to pass my essay to her so she could hand it in for me. But I overslept and woke up at 11am instead. Oops.

Oh well. I've partied too much for the past four days. It's time to get some work done!

My tagboard has died and I've removed it. Still contemplating if I should put up a new one, since no one tags anyway.

Things I want to do with my remaining holidays:

1. Catch up on work

2. Do some CIP

3. Meet up with Claudia (now now now!!)

4. Meet up with WanYee, Jac, Darice, Jane (gotta start pestering them!)

5. Go out with Ayu and Joan (BUFFET PLSSSS)

6. OG outing (which was supposed to be today but got postponed)

7. Try my hands on some blueberry muffins! (read reviews for this one recipe and it sounds so irresistable, plus Mom bought blueberries recently. Hehehe)

home sweet home

2011-06-08T22:54:00.002+08:00

Back from shooting camp. The three days and 2 nights in school was fun. Got to know the juniors and I'm quite glad they made a great improvement in terms of enthusiasm, team spirit, attitude and respect for us seniors. Really a big difference in contrast to day 1 of camp.

Also really happy that everything went smoothly, from the food to logistics to the 3am "morning surprise" and the games. Particularly the games because I was in the games comm along with WeiTing and Prasanth. Oh the biasness. Hahaha! But of course it's also thanks to the others like Amanda, Jasmine and WeiLe who helped out with water bombs at 4AM otherwise we never would have finished making enough water bombs in time.

This camp is our last contribution as shooters and everyone did a great job. Well done, team! Yay!

Barely had any sleep last night so I crashed on my bed when I got home. I intended to just take a short 1.5-hour nap but I was so tired I KO-ed for 6 hours instead. And I probably could have continued sleeping till tomorrow if my mom didn't wake me up for dinner at 9pm.

My whole body is aching now and my feet hurt from running around barefoot on the netball training area at the track.

Shall use the whole of tomorrow to sleep in late and do nothing but chillax.

Horoscope for today

2011-06-03T22:45:00.002+08:00

It's challenging to settle your nerves today because your current anxiety is coming from several different sources. Unfortunately, isolating individual problems and solving them won't address the overall big picture. Instead of seeking solutions that require practical thinking and specific action, you're better off now to work on improving your attitude. If you can be flexible enough about what is happening, you'll realize that you don't have to waste energy worrying about things you cannot control.

Having a headache since I got home awhile ago. Hasn't gone away and no, I will not take Panadol.

Perhaps it's due to what I've been thinking since last night. Something that affected me tremendously in the past has randomly decided to come back and haunt me again.
And then I found myself thinking about all the things I could have been or have had, and all my worries, if only...

Sigh. Life is always filled with "if only"s isn't it? Our unfulfilled dreams, hopes, wants. Or just the curiosity of what it would be like if things were the opposite of what they are now. More or less we think about them out of hindsight. We just want to know if the grass on the other side is greener, don't we?

Everyone has their own book of "if only"s.
I think mine could be as thick as the last Harry Potter book.

A collection

2011-06-01T22:24:00.007+08:00

Everyday I'm shufflin'

2011-05-27T23:46:00.004+08:00

Yay MYE's over!!! Holidays have started and I'm gonna party while I can! So many things/goals I want to do/accomplish in this month. I'm not sure if I can manage this but I'm going to try my best!

****MEET UP SOON OLD FRIENDS YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE****

Last paper which was Biology ended at 9.45am yesterday. Outing with the class (more like half the class) at Vivo. Had fun at Sentosa boardwalk. Hahaha. Did a little shopping and after that we returned to school for a 2-hour long Econs lecture. -_-

Second session of Econs lecture this morning, and the last. Thank God. Feels such a waste to go to school just for 2 hours of lecture. Sigh.

Celebrated Grace's (belated) birthday with QiQian and Rachelle! Pity Joan couldn't join us. QQ, Rach and I went through so much trouble to surprise Grace. After Econs today, we went to Cineleisure to get the movie tickets, City Hall for the cake and a broccoli. Don't ask. Lol. Then we headed back to school to wait for the unexpecting Grace who was having council meeting.
But I'm so glad the surprise was a success eventually! :)
We watched Pirates of the Caribbean which was awesome!!

I reached home pretty late, about 1030pm. Feel so tired now but today was good.

every girl's dream

2011-05-22T23:10:00.002+08:00

This guy, I swear, has brought "will you marry me?" to a whole new epic level.

2011-05-22T00:15:00.003+08:00

I had the worst gastric in my entire life on Thursday. I couldn't even straighten my back. Yes that's how painful it was.
Funny thing was that it occurred at about 11plus. About 4-5 hours since I last ate my breakfast and that was pretty normal for me. I never had any problems not eating for 5 hours. I never even had problems when I always skipped dinner in the past months of intensive training. So I really couldn't understand why I'd be having gastric now.
Felt better after eating some porridge for lunch and Daphne's gastric medicine saved me.
Went to support Joan at her hockey finals against VJC. Felt so proud of her seeing her out on the pitch giving her all. Even our security guard uncles went down to show their support too. And one of the uncles shouted so much that he lost his voice the next day. Lol. I think that's pretty sweet.

Managed to get a gold for NAPFA! Thank goodness Mrs Tan was lenient with the inclined pull-ups otherwise I'd never be able to get a C for it. My timing for shuttle run was so lousy because I failed at picking up the bean bag. Lol what a loser. But I got an A when I tried it again. Yay.
Went to City Hall to get some Yoguru with Rachelle and QiQian after that.

The school decided to be nice and declare next Monday a study break to prepare for midyear's. I'm still going back to school though, for consults for math, bio and chemistry. That means I got to prepare some stuff to ask my tutors by then but all I did today was vectors. One single topic of math. Pathetic. I haven't started on chemistry at all, the most difficult subject to pass. Sigh.

I'm so scared of failing again. I really don't want to disappoint my parents and teachers. I won't know how to face them. I don't want to disappoint myself.

2011-05-16T23:37:00.005+08:00

Wow I actually haven't blogged for two weeks huh. Wouldn't really call it a hiatus because I did turn on my laptop and surfed frequently. You could say I was lazy to blog. Oops.

Anyway, some stuff that happened during my 2 weeks of absence here. It may or may not be in chronological order. Time has been moving so fast that I find it hard to keep track of what I do for each day. :\

1. Nike Goddess 5K Run with Sister the Saturday before. Yupp, 5km. Sounded manageable to me but I didn't run throughout the 5km. Hahaha. Weak. What made it really rewarding after that seemingly never-ending route was amazing view standing at the top of Marina Barrage.

Big, big, big, massive turnout!

As the sun sets.

2. The ever most important General Elections. Shall I comment? Nah, it's not quite necessary. I have never been a fan of politics and I dislike people who take sides with barely any knowledge or rational thinking. But this year's elections has been the most exciting I've experienced (not like I've seen many, lol), probably because my neighbourhood happens to be in the "hottest" GRC. Yes the one that starts with A and ends with D. Any Singaporean would have already guessed. Haha.

3. Biology SPA (Science Practical Assessment) nearly made me want to cry because I couldn't get my yeast cells THRICE for the first microscope slide. There goes my full marks. Oh well.

4. Chemistry SPA, the first and last time I actually managed to complete all my experiments/tests in time. I'm pretty sure I screwed up for some observations so I'm not going to get full marks for it either.

No more SPA anymore! Yay!

Mid-years are like next week. Do I want a repeat of last term? Definitely not.
But have I started revision? Not at all.
Good game.

the one issue if changes for the better, I'd die happy now

2011-05-02T01:56:00.004+08:00

I just stumbled upon a video of a camel being killed and I can assure you it was not dignified at all.

Humans. I'm so ashamed to be part of this species sometimes, really.

So much for calling ourselves the superior, the most intellectual beings on earth. Well, fuck you. Just because you're "superior" doesn't give you the right to think any lesser of the other living beings that we share our planet with.
It doesn't give us the right to exploit the lives of the others whose language we cannot hear or understand.

So what if we're supposedly the smartest, the most adaptable of all? The way we treat animals sometimes clearly isn't what I'd call clever, much less respectable.

I am simply disturbed after watching that video. It is downright sick. My heart aches both for the camel and for ourselves. Why are we doing this?

Don't forget that we, too, are animals. Why can't we be more empathetic towards our fellow Earth inhabitants?

If you want to watch the video: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=184114924965876

Viewer discretion is highly advised.

A famous quote says "do unto others, what you want others do unto you". I hope karma will get to them soon. And that includes all the spectators there.

I need my iron man!

2011-04-29T23:50:00.004+08:00

I donated blood today! Been wanting to ever since we were informed of the blood donation drive that would be in school. I was naturally a bit scared about the aftermath of suddenly being drained of 450ml of blood in my body. But I decided to be a brave warrior and went for it anyway and got myself all hyped up for it.

I was the fourth registered blood donor in the school this year! First you'd have to fill up a form and some questionnaire. After your details are keyed in and officially registered, you're sent to the health screening station where they'll take your temperature, blood pressure and weight. If you fail any of those, then you can't donate. My blood pressure was below average the first two tries and luckily just passed on the third.
If you pass all three, you proceed to the next station where they'll test the iron level in your blood. Your middle finger is pricked and a drop of blood is taken from it and put into a special machine. If you fail this, you can't donate either. My iron level barely hit the minimum requirement as well. Lol.
After that, it's blood donating time! The needle which I later saw is really quite thick. Joan describes it like a Yakult straw. I refused to see any needle being inserted into my arm. There was anesthesia so you wouldn't be able to feel the thick needle. Then you'll just be laying there, squeezing the stress ball in the shape of a blood droplet with your blood-donating arm to keep your blood flowing. On average it would take about 20 minutes to fill up a bag of blood. I think mine took less than that.

Joan and Tham sitting opposite me. We were talking across the area like that. Lol.

I got to choose the colour of my bandage! :D

Had a headache soon after but it went away. I also have free "vanilla flavoured" iron tablets which taste nothing like they're supposed to. Bleargh.
There's still a hole in my arm where the needle was. So far there are no signs of bruising even though I was told that I might have some because I have no muscles around that area. Hope it remains this way.

I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time I'm doing this. :D

Happiness?

2011-04-28T23:17:00.004+08:00

Just a random thought process before I start packing my bag and prepare for Friday which is my most hectic day out of my school timetable.

Being happy is a choice that only you can make for yourself. If you don't choose to be happy, then you'll never be happy.

Before nationals, I had to reach home late after every training, slept late because of that, etc. But I couldn't possibly put the blame on my coach or even the captains for all my late nights and lack of sleep, right?

Because I believe that I am responsible for whatever "unfortunate/miserable" situation I land myself in. Because I CHOSE to join a sporting CCA, I should be ready to make the commitment to train hard for nationals. I CHOSE to want it myself so I trained practically every day even if it meant training from 6pm to 9pm. I chose it, and should therefore be willing to bear the consequences.

Yes I often complained about how late I'd be reaching home on the days I had training or what time I slept the night before. I end up being so tired and sleepy every time I went back to school. But at the end of the day, I wasn't unhappy. I don't think I was truly unhappy at all and I think it's because I CHOSE not to be unhappy. I chose to let my passion for the sport and team overpower my lack of sleep or the fact that my grades fell or even my eczema condition that was threatening to strike back.
I had my fair share of things for which I could put the blame on shooting, but I did not. I could choose to harp on all the things that would qualify my life as pathetic, but I did not.

What I chose is to shrink-wrap all my negative thoughts and happenings, and instead put the spotlight on everything else that make me happy. Maybe I chose to be happy for the people whom I hold dearest to me, or maybe it's for myself. I don't know. All I know is that I am choosing to stay happy whatever the weather will be.

So, dear you, reading this. For whatever you're going through right now, your life may not be all that bleak. Why not choose to be happy instead on dwelling on the negatives? It's much healthier for you anyway.

Start by asking yourself, what are the littlest, simplest things that make you happy?

hot wings

2011-04-24T01:27:00.006+08:00

I have had a pretty cool week.
Watched Rio which made me put Brazil on my places-to-visit list. I also absolutely adore their soundtrack. Keep listening to them on youtube.

Supported the guys' pistol team on Tuesday. It was intense, emotional and tested the strength of our bond as one pistol team. I shan't say anything about it in detail. All I'll say is that the guys really showed the true meaning of sportsmanship and I admire their courage and spirit to persevere despite what they had been through. Coach Haw treated us to dinner after that and all was well. :)

Met up with Claudia at Nex on Wednesday. Talked over tea at TeaDot, accompanied her to buy some stuff, ate popiah which was surprisingly quite good. Oh and we wore shirts of the same colour purely by coincident! We aren't best friends for nothing eh? Hahahaha. Pictures are super huge because I'm lazy to save them into my comp and personally upload them in the size I want so I'm uploading it directly from Claudia's blog.

One of my favourite childhood candies!!

Went down to SAFRA again on Thursday to support Tham who was receiving the individual bronze medal. We also took a lot of photos and polaroids. It was the end of our competition season after all. What a bittersweet feeling.

I'm never going to forget these guys.

Went out yesterday and today, in the context that today is still Saturday.
Bought some running gear from Nike and I finally bought myself a new bag for school!

Long weekend drawing to a close. I have done nothing but going on Tumblr, going out, catching up on The Noose and Glee and of course playing Pokemon Heart Gold. I'm addicted to Pokemon once again. Hehe.

I am a happy girl. :)

Chapter closed.

2011-04-14T23:25:00.004+08:00

It's only when the end draws near do you really start to appreciate, cherish, and even miss it. Only then do you realize how much this has meant to you and how much this is going to leave a print on your life.

Nationals today. My team placed 6th. It's really not bad, considering how we're right behind the "power houses" some of which consist of shooters with 6 years of experience or DSA students. For the three of us who started from scratch just last year and with only a year's experience to compete with those others, we did well. :)

Today's competition also marked the last time I'd be shooting. As I was shooting, I closed my eyes before every shot, just focusing on doing my action sequence properly, making sure my sight is clear, triggering as smoothly as I can. Shot after shot, series after series. A tint of sadness started to creep in as I was down to my last series. "Last ten shots," I told myself. And when it came to the 40th competition shot, my final shot, I closed my eyes, breathed in and out slowly. It's the last shot, Jess, end it well. I drew back the card for the last time and saw that I hit a 10. End it well indeed.

Although I hoped we could have done better. I knew we could because we deserved to. But like what Tham said, we will leave the range with no regrets. And we did without any regrets. We don't need any gold, silver or bronze medals to tell us that we are already golden. We are champions on our own. Through this one year, I didn't just made friends. I ended up having a second family. We've been through so much together and I'm really glad I was given a chance to join this shooting family. God knows how I'd have survived otherwise in another cca.
I found the reason why God placed me in the pistol team even though I initially wanted rifle.
So I guess this marks the end of my one-year shooting career. I'm really going to miss shooting and especially the people I've come to known.

Tham Hui Yu, Jasmine Ng and Ester Lee, it has truly been an honor to be your teammate.

Today I feel blessed

2011-04-09T01:24:00.006+08:00

SSP isn't so bad after all. Chemistry remedial lecture on Thursday was pretty funny. Today was my first real SSP whereby I had to sit in the library and study. Had a table all to myself and it turned out quite productive. Though I felt soooo dehydrated because I came straight from PE in which we played basketball and didn't have time to fill my bottle. And I couldn't go refill my bottle because we're not allowed to leave the library till end of SSP at 6, not even to go toilet(!!!).
I was dying of thirst and was SO TEMPTED to ask Mrs Goh who was sitting in for today (and is also my chemistry teacher) for some water because she has a big bottle of it. Lol.
Good thing the 1.5 hours passed pretty fast.

After SSP, I met up with Claudia again at Nex! We met last Friday too at CCK. Completely impromptu. We sat on the rooftop of Lot 1 and just talked from dusk till the sky was pitch-black. I swear it brought our friendship to a whole new level. Today we talked about stuff over dinner. And we got friendship anklets! I think mine is too short, or my ankle is just fat. :(
I love you Best Friend!!

Also, Project Work results were out today. I got an A! HUGE relief man. That's the first thing that made my day after such a bad start in the morning. Those who follow me on twitter would have known what happened.

Haven't felt this blessed in awhile. :)

Nationals is in 6 days and I've been getting worse with each training for the past four days. That was why I didn't train today because I think it's clear that I need to take a break. I'm gonna go for training tomorrow, and maybe go to the library afterwards to get some work done.
I was gonna watch some videos on YouTube but it's taking forever to load. Stupid MIO so slow. I should go sleep instead.

Goodnight, folks. It has been an eventful day. :)

2011-03-30T22:23:00.002+08:00

Throughout my 17+ years of life I have never cried openly in school in front of my friends.
I have never really actually sat down and just break down because of bad results.
I have never.

Until today.

rolled into one

2011-03-26T17:22:00.006+08:00

Just got home from volunteering with ACRES today at the National Library with Claudia! Such a windy place, the exhibits and stuff kept getting blown down/away. :(
Anyway, it was just us, Amy, Tan En and Gretchen who's a volunteer too.
Mascot-ed for a short while because the kids were getting aggressive, poking and punching Claudia's and my mascot heads. So Tan En who was assisting us decided for us to stop mascot-ing.
Claudia is with the others right now at Marina Bay. ACRES has a booth there for the Earth Hour event.

Anyway, lots of stuff happened during the interval between my last post and this one. I shall just sum up my very short March holiday.
1. Last Wednesday: Awesome dinner at Popeye's with WanYee, Jac and Darice! It was great catching up with you guys! Missed you all so much!
2. Last Friday: Met up with Claudia to catch Black Swan which was quite disturbing. And then we baked!
3. Last Saturday: Animal Welfare Symposium at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Claudia and I were supposed to go there as ACRES volunteers but there were so many other volunteers that we ended up just standing around awkwardly not knowing what to do. Listened to presentations on the various animal welfare issues and I guess my passion has been rekindled. The vegetarian food provided during lunch was good. I'm gonna try cutting down on meat consumption whenever I can now.
4. Last Sunday: Went for self training after my organ lesson. I also learned that I'm going for A Div'! Thank you God, you gave me a chance after all. :)

This week was back-to-reality week. The harsh, harsh reality.

I failed all 5 papers for term exams. I know I was gonna do badly but not THIS badly. This is like the first time I'm failing all subjects at once. Of course I was very upset and disappointed in myself.
I mean, I thought I would be lucky like I've always been with last-minute studying and maybe get a scraping pass for one or two subjects. See, I know I've always been pretty lucky. Just not this time, unfortunately. So my heart sank deeper with each red score I received. I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I wanted to slap myself. I scolded myself, hard.

And I got worried because I now had a 99% chance of getting into SSP, which means my training days or timing would be affected. I would either have to train on weekends or train after SSP which would mean going home really late regularly, much later than the usual time I reach home now. I nearly wanted to cry at the thought of both the results and consequence.
This week has also been tiring with training and all. I reach home late almost everyday. The latest was like 11pm on Thursday night. Sigh.
But I gotta thank my dear friends for trying to cheer me up and presenting me with tokens of love (a jar of smiley Sticky candy, motivational card and some angel thing). It really made my day, so thank you guys. I don't know how I would have survived with you.

I have lots of pictures from last week and more from today but I'm lazy to upload them. Haha. They are on facebook!

Dim Sum buffet!

2011-03-16T15:07:00.003+08:00

Mom brought Sis and I to a DIM SUM BUFFET at Marina Mandarin Hotel last Saturday. The food was good. The desserts were nice too. We ordered like 5 or 6 baskets of xiao long bao. Damn shiok!

Fried radish cake with I forgot what

Fried beancurd skin with I forgot what

XIAO LONG BAO!!!!!

Chee cheong fun in hot and sour gravy

Siew mai

Har gao

Mini "Buddha jump over the wall" which costs like $48++

Drunken chicken served cold with wolfberries

Sea cucumber

Meat and chives dumpling, exact name unknown

Ostrich meat :O

More dim sum! Char siew bao on the left.

More xiao long bao!

Jasmine tea

Another beancurd dish

Steamed radish cake

Dessert! Gui ling gao with aloe vera and honey

Green apple and (something) jelly topped with nuts

Lounge at Marina Mandarin hotel

Live birds

Now I feel like eating more xiao long bao. I can never get enough of it.

Last week

2011-03-11T23:00:00.002+08:00

27 February
Went out in the evening with QiQian to get Rachelle's birthday presents! Thanks for the cup of Yoguru babe. <3 We bought a big card and a huge ass, embarrassing balloon for Rachelle. Poor QQ had to bring it home and to school the next day, inviting stares and smiles from strangers. Lol. After getting the birthday stuff, we hung around outside Esplanade and watched the light show at MBS. And we took a polaroid! The very first polaroid taken with my Instax. :)

28 February
Founder's Day celebration in school = no lessons + very early dismissal! Rachelle's pre-birthday was celebrated at Grace Loke's house together with QQ! Had lots of fun with the three of them.

Printed and cut out the letters myself. Left me with only 4 hours of sleep but it was worth it.

1 March
No school! Because AC was celebrating Founder's Day at the indoor stadium and I didn't have to go. Had dinner with (ex-)section mates XinRu, HuiJun, Rachel and Pearlyn who joined us after a lot of convincing! So good to see them again! HuiJun's friend Renee tagged along too. Gotta thank her for helping us take the polaroids!

My favourite :)

Rest of last week
School, school, school and a little bit of training.

And then terms came and went.

Daisy, my neighbour's adopted dog was out and about accompanying their maids who were doing some gardening when I came home from the very demoralizing Math and Chemistry papers on Tuesday. Mom invited Daisy into our home (just our front yard) and I played with her for a little while. It is amazing how animals are so therapeutic, to me at least. Petting a dog, for example, never fails to lift my mood up.
I was reminded of why I set my mind on being a vet since young. I remember Nizam, one of the zookeepers I met during my holiday job in June '08, once said "Animals are the best to work with." And I agree, to some extent.
If I can't make it in the end, I will definitely do something animal-related. And I'm never going to be dissuaded. Everything is subjective anyway and you can't please everyone.
The main reason why I'm in a JC now and not in poly was because I didn't want to let my parents down. Next thing I knew, my Dad told me to get into a local university. He doesn't care what course I take, as long as I get in. Does he even care about what I want to do in my future? I doubt he even takes my aspiration seriously.
Well, Dad, I'm dead serious about it and I'm going to do what makes me happy. I'm not going to try and please anyone anymore. I figured that if they truly care about me, as long as I'm happy they would be happy for me too.

On a random sidenote:

ROSTI WITH SALMON FROM MARCHE!!!! Shared it and the brownie with QQ.

Today
Went for a swim with Sister! I only swam 12 laps and I rested after each one. Lol what a noob. I know I had swim PE but those lessons are practically play time in a wading pool. Plus, I was swimming like a blind man today. Sis took my goggles because she didn't have any. -_-
After that we had sushi buffet with Mom! I rushed from Bishan to Changi to send Joan off on her hockey trip. I was an hour behind the time I was supposed to meet Rach and QQ. HAHA. Joan probably won't be able to read this but have a safe trip and take care okay! We'll miss you!
Took the train all the way back to join Sis and Mom again. Bought new stationery. Bumped into Joanna Wong while getting Gong Cha and we caught up with each other. :)

I think I'm going to go for a dimsum buffet with Mom and Sis tomorrow. Hehe.
My skin feels really dry after swimming. Especially my legs. :\

2011-03-09T22:21:00.003+08:00

Term exams went really bad for me. Can only blame it on myself for studying at the last minute. Probably going to land myself in SSP. Whatever la huh. The most important thing is that it's over! My March holidays began at 10AM today, after biology paper, which means yes I have no school tomorrow, Friday, and all the way till the next term starts.

Finally caught I Am Number Four today, which is quite sick. Not in a good way. Dianna Agron is as pretty as ever though. So grossed out by the bad aliens. Best part is that Joan thought we were going to watch a cartoon. -_-
Lunch at Marche!!! Haven't been there in a really really long time. All the food looked so good I swore I would get one of everything if it was a buffet. Lol. Gotta love the rosti especially with salmon!! It is damn gooooood. In fact anything potato is good. Hehe :D

Will blog soon about stuff that happened last week!

Comptine D'un Autre Ete

2011-03-05T02:54:00.002+08:00

In love with this song right now. It's from some french movie(?) called Amelie. Never watched it but this is such a beautiful masterpiece. I'll learn it after terms.

Okay I should go sleep now. Waking up early to study.

fear

2011-03-05T02:15:00.004+08:00

Camping at the dining table because I really hate the lighting in the study room. It is ridiculous plus the study room is no place for studying, ironically. So instead I brought down my Bacteria notes, my pencil case and armour of coloured pens down here, the dining table. And of course my laptop, because I wanted to charge and sync new songs into my iPhone. And as usual, I can never be quite productive with a laptop sitting in front of me. Only managed to finish my bacteria summary after doing all kinds of stuff online.

Witnessed the release of A level results today. Some of the seniors that I know have done well.
I feel even more scared of the A Levels now. It would be nice to for once be called up on stage for getting 3 or more distinctions. I mean, who wouldn't want that?
What I'm truly fearful of is the possibility (and very likelihood) that I will not do well even if I try with all my might. What am I going to do with shit grades that won't let me achieve my goal? Where can I go?
One thing is for sure that my parents will never sponsor me to pursue my dream course. Because they've never approved of it and they never will. Every single adult who knows of what I intend to do in the future says it's stupid, it's useless and I should drop that goal.

Is this what adults should be teaching the younger generation? To give up without even trying? Is it even right to look down on a profession and tell a hopeful and determined kid not to go for it?
Dad once told me that profession and passion doesn't have to/shouldn't go together.
Isn't it the best when what you do for your job is also what you're most passionate about? Whatever happened to the saying of "do what you love, love what you do"?

And isn't it better that at least I know what I want, when many other teens my age have no clue of their future?
Dear adults, there's really no use trying to dissuade me because I'm stubborn by nature especially when it concerns my personal beliefs. The more you try to talk me out of it, the harder I'll cling onto my goal and I will prove you all wrong.

Oops I ended up ranting.

In the mean time, term exams start next Monday and ends on Wednesday. And then it's holidays!!!
Not ready for it at all, but I can't wait for those three days to be over. It'll be fast, like how the past 2 months have been.
I have 2 days left to salvage my grades and not land myself in SSP (self-study programme which supercedes all other extra-curricular activities and make you stay in the library for 2 hours after school to self study). Can't afford to miss any trainings which I will if I do fail and qualify for SSP.

Intense mugging here I come. Good luck to me!

in numbers

2011-02-25T22:58:00.005+08:00

1.
Cross country on Wednesday. It rained just before the competitive run was about to start. We were all stuck under the puny tentages at West Coast, huge puddles forming all around our feet on the field. Everyone got at least the lower half of their bodies (especially feet) soaked to the bone. Cross country ended up being postponed to next Monday with only the competitive runners running. What an epic fail.

2.

MY BABY IS HERE!!! Super surprised by how fast the package arrived. Ordered on Sunday, delivered on Thursday afternoon! Man, you just gotta love globalization. Lol.
Also I skipped school on Thursday. Oops. Because Thursdays lessons are so pon-able since we have the dreaded 100 minutes of GP and we end at 12.50pm. But I honestly did have giddy spells. So yeah.

3.
This morning, I kept waking up way before my alarm rang, like at 4+AM. Probably because I slept too much the day/night before.
Woke up to my alarm ringing at 6AM, hit the snooze button.
Alarm rang again at 6.09AM, hit the snooze button again.
The next time I woke up, I looked at the time: 6.47AM!!! FUCK!!! I panicked and literally jumped out of my bed and dashed out of the house in 10 minutes.
Reached school at 7.27AM, ran all the way to the hallway and I was not marked late. Not marked late = no detention! Felt like such a ninja today. (Y)

4.
NUSIS today with Jasmine and Theodora! My blue slip let me miss half of Chemistry lesson and the 80-minute PE lesson. Thanks, Theo's mom, for fetching us to SAFRA! Hit my personal best! Was not expecting it at all seeing how I shot a 6 and a couple of 7's so that was indeed a pleasant surprise. :D

Going to try out my polaroid camera tomorrow! Eggcited!!

Instax baby!

2011-02-20T18:31:00.004+08:00

I was browsing through G Market last night looking at all the polaroid cameras on sale because I had a sudden interest in it. Then I saw this offer which looked really good. But the money has to come from my own bank savings hence I hesitated. But then I really really really really want a polaroid camera and I imagined all kinds of fun I'd have if I had one in my hands.

So, I've decided to buy it.

Fujifilm Instax Mini 7S in PINK. Yes, I know I don't exactly fancy pink but it doesn't matter when it comes to a polaroid camera. There was a similar offer for the all-white model but it costs $19 more. And there's no way I'm going to pay an extra $19 just for a change of colour.

$143 for the camera, a camera case/bag, one pack of 10 films, a mini polaroid album and 10 colour photo-pens. Worth it? I think so too.

I also found another offer selling TWO Lomo cameras for $30!! Which is freaking cheap in my opinion.

Hehehe can't wait for my Instax to arrive! ^^

rest

2011-02-12T16:25:00.002+08:00

I have been sick ever since last Friday when I woke up with a fever. The fever went down after I slept for the next three hours and then I started having a sore throat up till now. Ironically I ate very little CNY goodies. My sleep gets interrupted because I keep coughing every 10 seconds. Sometimes my nose gets blocked so I have to breathe through my mouth which doesn't help my throat at all.

I went to see the doctor today, finally. I have three kinds of medicine to take. And the little spoon that comes along with my cough syrup is hot pink! Lol.

What a week it's been. My life currently revolves around school, training, study, homework, school, training, study, homework. I come home late for most of the days such that all I ever do when I get home is bathe, do homework or study till past 1AM and then I go to bed. No time for Facebook, Blogger or Tumblr (I don't really care about Facebook anyway).
I never get enough rest which is probably why I've remained sick for an entire week and counting.

Despite my health, I still went to school every day. Unlike a certain douchebag in my class who skipped school on Thursday. When Lyn asked him why he wasn't in school, he said that he was tired. Joan and I were really, really, REALLY, PISSED OFF at him upon hearing that. It is not only a pathetic excuse but it's also RIDICULOUS coming from someone whose CCA is freaking LIBRARY. You're tired when you only have sedentary library duties how often and till how late, when others have trainings far more often, longer and more physically and mentally demanding than yours? Seriously, bitch, we have more balls than you. Oh wait, you don't have any.
Now I've seen the face of a true blue coward.

Okay enough bitching. I've got peace by the river.

I had my last swim PE session for the year yesterday. It got cut short by 20 minutes because of the lightning risk alert. Damn I kind of like swim PE. I'd choose it over land PE any day. Cabbed to training with Mr Chua, Andrew and Prasanth! Traffic jam all the way and we all fell asleep in the cab. Haha. Reached home a little before 10pm and I slept at like 10.30pm. Earliest I've ever slept in years man. Mom said I was crying in my sleep and she dreamt that Sis had a boyfriend who was rather handsome. HAHA.

Valentine's Day is on Monday! I want to get presents for my friends. The doctor told me to rest at home as much as possible and stay away from crowded places. Hope I get a chance to go out tomorrow. :\

Alright, time to catch up on homework, tumblr, and GLEE!!!

2011-01-31T00:08:00.002+08:00

You are young and life is long
and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find
ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run,
you missed the starting gun.

I've got the magic, magic, magic

2011-01-30T00:02:00.003+08:00

Friday was an awesome day! It really made up for all the sadness I went through this week, from being the bottom of the class in Bio test(!!!!) to not making the cut in my CCA. Yeah well, shit happens.

So as I was saying, Friday was awesome! Because SWIM PE GOT CANCELLED!!! Because it was raining. And we watched some swimming video instead and were released at 4 instead of the usual 4.30pm. (:

But what made Friday truly awesome was this whole impromptu meetup with Claudia AND - wait for it - Corinne and Darrylin! Two friends whom I haven't seen in YEARS. Corinne used to be my best friend (together with Claud) throughout my whole primary school life. Darrylin was a dear friend.

It all happened thanks to TWITTER. Hahaha sounds credulous but most definitely true. I tweeted that I was walking Cracker and Junior, Claudia's two out of three dogs, to the dog run at Nex. Then Darrylin responded to my tweet and told me she and Corinne were going to Nex. So I replied and said let's meet!! And ta-dah! They showed up while we were at Doggiestyle, the dog cafe there.

Darrylin is still Darrylin, cute as ever. Corinne's voice has gone down like an octave lower. HAHA okay maybe I exaggerated just a bit. But she looks the same. They both still look the same.

It was nice to see them again even if it wasn't for very long. Pity we didn't take a picture. Seeing old friends make me feel all warm and fuzzy and nostalgic inside. It's good. (:

Went to Claudia's place after that. Watching cable, playing with her pets, going crazy with my Pudding camera app. Awesome.

Lasagne from Doggiestyle

Junior curled up on my lap in the dog run. He was feeling so stressed and defensive due to this annoying mini schnauzer who kept circling around in the dog cafe and terrorizing other dogs.

Adorable Truffle

Crazyassshit photos make my day.

abcdefg

2011-01-26T23:23:00.002+08:00

I think I'm going to be the reserve. Not good enough to make it into the team.

Why am I always average in everything I do? Never at either extremes or even close to them. Always somewhere in the middle. Acceptable, but not good enough. Not the worst, but never best or near-best. Even if I tried as hard as anyone else, I'm still never good at anything.

Is my life really just meant to be like this? Forever on a plateau? Because I'm really getting quite sick of it.

Today, I feel like I've lost all sense of hope in me.

my nose is on a marathon

2011-01-23T22:38:00.002+08:00

Hello I am officially sick. I sneezed 14 times consecutively. So much that I had tears in my eyes. :'( And now my nose is running a marathon.

I just took two Panadol cold pills. Shall see the doctor after school tomorrow! Good thing I end early on Mondays. Plus no training tomorrow. :D

So anyway. SSA monthly shoot this afternoon. Couldn't focus at all during my last series because it was just so freaking noisy. The audience really should learn to shut up man, seriously.
My score was below my average standard. That got me pretty down. :( I decided to take the straight bus home from Yishun while listening to songs that suit my mood. I just needed some quiet time alone. :\

Sad Sunday. Oh well. Time to go prepare for another week.

Never say no to a panda

2011-01-22T17:56:00.004+08:00

I feel very much rested after 12 hours of sleep.

I had swim pe yesterday and it was quite fun. It's good in a way that it's the last lesson of the day/week so you don't have to rush for the next lesson and all. But my muscles are aching all over now.

Went for training after that with Tham, WeiTing and Jon. Started at 7plus and ended at 9plus. I reached home at 11plus. :O And Mom bought sushi for me!! :D

And I didn't exactly study for bio test. I mean I did read through my notes but somehow just couldn't absorb anything. So I'm very confident that I'll fail this one. Oh well.

First Students Task Force (STF) meeting on Wednesday. Joan and I signed up for fun. Thank you Joan for postponing your x-ray appointment to accompany me (after all my whining) ILYVVM. I am now secretary for my group which means extra work very soon. :\

SSA monthly shoot tomorrow! Yes, on a Sunday. Many schools participating in this competition. I'll be shooting between some HC and Meridian shooters. Wish me luck!

I am craving for Subway. And cheese fries. And I think I'm falling sick.

Survival

2011-01-15T00:05:00.004+08:00

The new horoscope says I'm now a VIRGO. Which sucks because I am very contented with being a Libra. No offence to Virgo/ex-Virgo peeps.

Oh well. Not like a change of horoscope sign is going to change my nature or character or something. I shall always be a Libra at heart. Heh. Maybe because I like the idea of balance. And maybe that's why I'm never particularly good at anything. Just average in everything I do. Lol. :\

Turns out the new horoscope only applies to those born from a few years ago. So I'm still a Libra!!

Am very sleepy now. Have been so every morning. First week of school is over!!! I'm so glad I made it.

Training began on Thursday which resulted in me reaching home close to 11pm. ELEVEN FREAKING PM. Oh God I can't even describe the feeling I had that night. Angst plus frustration plus self-pity plus fatigue plus impatience all rolled into one.

It's at times like these when I wish I lived closer to the west. Or if I was 18, had a driving license and had family rich enough for me to have a car and drive myself home. I feel so tempted to rent a room somewhere in between school and HTNS and just live there till nationals are over. Or I simply should have just chosen a particular JC that is within walking distance from my home instead. Then I wouldn't have to waste so much time travelling and I CAN HAVE MORE SLEEP.

The thought of that being only the beginning of such future trainings scared me. Intensive training has begun which means training (at least) 4 times a week. Teams from other schools will also be training at HTNS which means there won't be enough lanes to fit all of us sometimes. And that means we'd have to take turns and training will start way after 6pm, like 8pm :O and since training will last about 2 hours, I'd only be done at 10pm. Packing up, changing, getting to the train station would take some time so I'd only be on the train after 10.30pm. I take at least an hour to get home so I'll probably get home just before midnight(!!!).

SO HOW I AM GOING TO FIND THE TIME AND ENERGY TO DO ANY HOMEWORK/STUDY FOR THE NEXT DAY I REALLY DON'T KNOW.

Plus there's swim PE every Friday afternoon now, before my training. I swear I will suffer from severe fatigue. Overwhelming fatigue for the next three months. Omg. :(((

And I barely scraped through Friday after the horrible, horrible Thursday. Tried really really hard to keep my eyes open during lessons. Before morning assembly I saw my classmates and people nearby studying for the physical chem test, I nearly wanted to burn all their notes in a bonfire and scream "fuck you all for having time to study, study what study? I didn't even touch my notes because I fucking reached home at 11pm!!! ELEVEN PM. Beat that, bitches!!"

Yeah that's how bad my mood was on Friday morning. Or rather, how low my emotional state was. :\

I think I'm soon going to neglect my studies due to intensive training and all. I don't exactly have a choice. I'm very happy Mr Chua is my new biology teacher besides being one of the teachers-in-charge for my CCA. So hopefully he'll understand if I don't do the homework he gives out or when I fail a bio test miserably. :S
Speaking of which, I've a bio test next week. I will attempt to make time and study for it. I WILL TRY.

Right shoulder and arm muscles aching. I can already feel the eczema on my right hand starting to act up again. God, please no. Spare me!!

Meanwhile, the main goal till nationals are over: SURVIVE.

GuiLin

2011-01-03T22:45:00.006+08:00

GUI LIN summarised:

1. The weather was cold, but not cold enough for snow. Can get warmer in the afternoons.
2. Lots and lots of mountains and scenery. (:
3. Road infrastructure isn't well-developed.
4. THE TRAFFIC IS CHAOTIC AND SCARY AND DANGEROUS.
5. You could cross a zebra crossing but the cars won't slow down for you, especially at night.
6. Tour guide warned us of pickpockets and bandits who steal your organs. Thankfully we encountered none.
7. Though our coach's petrol was stolen right out of its petrol tank one night. :\
8. Beggars were aplenty, especially those who had missing limbs or were old people. Mom gave money to most of them.
9. Their food = freaking cheap.
10. And actually the tourist souvenirs they sold (photos and such) weren't expensive at all.
11. I HAD FOOT MASSAGE TWICE. BOTH BY MALES. The first time even included a body massage (with my thick cloths on). :S I told Mom I felt violated LOL.
12. The Chinese can be very, very noisy in the most inappropriate situations. >:(
13. Their Chinese-English translations never fail to make me laugh.

And I shall not bore you guys with anymore paragraphs of words. I'll let the pictures do the talking! The links will be opened in a new window so just click! (:

Day 1
Day 2 (part 1)
Day 2 (part 2)
Day 3 (part 1)
Day 3 (part 2)
Day 4 (part 1)
Day 4 (part 2)
Day 5

World class?

2011-01-03T22:33:00.004+08:00

Wow the 3rd day of 2011 is already coming to an end now. How time flies~

My family spent our new year's night dining at a high-end restaurant, Equinox. It's on the 70th floor of Swissotel. Amazing view of the city. Super pretty restrooms that I wouldn't mind spending an hour in. Lol.

Classy, indeed. Food was :\ though. Wasn't as great as I'd imagine. Maybe because I didn't have much appetite at that time. I've been suffering from food poisoning a couple of days now.

And of course with such fine quality of everything, the price you pay is mighty fine too. Probably the first and last time I'll ever go to such restaurants. I'd be better off gorging on hawker centre food or in your daily commonplace restaurants. Haha. Seriously, the lesson gained is that good food doesn't have to come from expensive places, not that I wanted to go to Equinox in the first place. My dad insisted on going there, to revisit the place he took Mom out to dine on occasions.

It was their 23rd wedding anniversary by the way.

THE TOILET

Complimentary bread

Complimentary I-don't-know-what

Dad's main course, Black Angus Beef (either tenderloin or sirloin I don't really know)

My main course, suckling pig. The one slice of it hiding behind the square piece of pork.

My side dish

When I came home that night, I threw up and wasted 100+++ bucks of food. D:
The nausea/loss of appetite, the "spewing a looot of watery shit", and finally the throwing up. It wasn't until my friends suggested that I had food poisoning did I know that I had food poisoning.
I was beginning to worry that I was subconsciously anorexic albeit most unwillingly. Lol what a joke.

So I'm fine for now, hopefully getting better. Haven't thrown up since that one time. Been able to finish my lunches yesterday and today but I skipped dinner today because I didn't have appetite again. :\
I swear if I don't end up losing weight from this I don't know what can make me lose weight. Lol.

Post-holiday withdrawal

2010-12-31T19:08:00.002+08:00

5 hours till I bid farewell to this year. One word to describe Year 2010? I'd say "colourful".

This has been the year I've made a huge leap entering a new school with an entirely different culture.
This has been the year when I started taking hour-long trips to go home every day, when in the past it took only 15-20 minutes.
This has been the year with my biggest disappointments, but also some of my most enjoyable moments.
This has also been the year I've shed tears the most often.

I guess the lesson that I'll be taking into 2011 would be to always have hope, but do not expect anything because that would only lead to disappointment.

I've had so many ups and downs (but mostly downs) this year, I'm not exactly looking forward to what 2011 will bring. What with freaking A Levels and nationals if I ever get in for that.
The only thing I'm looking forward to is the freedom after A Levels. Haha!
But I don't know how I'm going to survive all those long, long months in the mean time. :\

Anyway, my trip to Guilin was awesome! (: Will blog more about it when I have time. Currently uploading the pictures on Facebook now!

Happy New Year everyone!

Dear 2011, please be good to me. I'd appreciate it. A lot.

feliz navidad!

2010-12-24T22:00:00.002+08:00

2 hours to Christmas!
And exactly 12 hours till my plane takes off!

I'll be back from China five days later, on the 29th.

Go watch Gulliver's Travel! It's freaking hilarious!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!! :D

Good morning, world!

2010-12-24T03:57:00.001+08:00

Christmas Lights by Coldplay. What a beautiful song.

Finally.

2010-12-22T00:59:00.002+08:00

Went out with my beloved bunch of SN girls on Monday. Too bad Darice couldn't make it. ):

I HAVEN'T SEEN JANE IN ALMOST A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Jac for at least 6 months?

Out of the 4 of them, I've seen WanYee the most. The most recent being the time I went to crash Vet Tech lectures at Temasek Poly.

It was so so so good to finally see them again! They haven't changed much at all. (:

We hung out at Bugis, lunched at Pastamania, played at the arcade, took neoprints which made us look like we dyed our hair and put on eyeliner, window shopped, bought Chewy Junior's. It was fun! :D

I was a little sad to say goodbye to them because I have no idea when I will see them again and I have a feeling it won't be soon. ):

Oh well. Until we meet again, guys. <3

Of oats and red velvet

2010-12-18T23:55:00.001+08:00

THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF BEST FRIENDS:

1. The best friend whom you’re so close to. You see them at least twice a week or more. You guys talk a lot and catch up on everything.

2. The type of friendship where you two don’t talk as much but deep down, you know that person's your best friend. Why? Because they understand you even if they barely see you.

I think the friendship between Claudia and I fall in the second category. And I like that. It seems more special. No wait, it IS special! I mean, 11 freaking years man!!! We practically grew up together even though we grew up apart in the last five years, if you know what I mean. As she has described us both as "socially inept" on her blog, I feel perfectly comfortable being in silence with her. :)

It's December 18th once again! A special date which we make it a point to meet up on every single year. It was "founded" by us with another friend who drifted away soon after primary school. Till this day it puzzles me as to why she'd choose not to make the effort to maintain our friendship even though Claudia and I tried. If I don't wish her a happy birthday or send her a christmas card, she wouldn't too. :\

Weren't we a great trio/foursome??? I honestly miss those times we had. It's kind of sad that it has dwindled down to just Claud and I. But oh well, you know what they say! Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it into your future.

Moving on! Claudia and I headed to Nex, which is the new mall at Serangoon and it's freaking huge!! and not to mention near my home. Our homes. Hahaha. So we had lunch at Mad Jack, then bought bubble tea and shopped for our baking ingredients before going over to her house to bake!

My christmas present that she was going to give me later.
The recycled wallet she gave me for my birthday!

They do not provide free glasses of water. So we made do without any drinks. ):

ACT SHY!
Mine: Grilled fish in honey lemon sauce with mashed potato & apple salad

Hers: Swan River Chick (don't worry it is chicken, not swan meat)
"The fish you ate was still pissing around last nite." - I DON'T BELIEVE
Fish & Chips; Chocolate & Ice-Cream; You & Me - The Perfect Match

Pudding milk tea is nice. (:

MY FIRST TIME BAKING (ON MY OWN)

Hers: Oatmeal cookies with walnuts
Mine: Red velvet cupcakes
Whisking the stubborn frosting mixture which somehow remained liquidy despite adding excess amounts of icing sugar into it. I think we were supposed to use HEAVY whipping cream but we bought the normal one. Resorted to spreading the frosting onto the cupcakes with a spoon. ):

My christmas present! ^^

Her decorated cupcake for me!
My decorated cupcake for her!
Sad, forgotten bowl of liquidy frosting. I only used it on some of my cupcakes.

OM NOM NOM
"STAND THERE! STAND THERE! (takes picture) SEE SO RETRO!" -_-

MY 2010 COIN which I (quite reluctantly) gave Claudia. I needed to give her change.

Macademia

I nearly forgot to add the egg into the batter at the beginning. And after pouring the batter into two cupcake papers, I went "OH SHIT!!!!" A startled Claudia asked "What?!" Then I replied "I FORGOT TO ADD BAKING SODA!!!!"

I laughed at myself for being such a noob while Claudia went -_______- as she helped me pour the batter from the cupcakes back into the bowl and I prepared the baking soda. LOL.

My RED VELVET CUPCAKES turned out pretty nicely! I feel a sense of accomplishment. :D

Claudia told her mom to buy dinner for me even though I told her that I was going to have dinner with my family later on! Obviously she wasn't listening!! Her mom came back with dinner including my share. So I had dinner with Claudia and her mom.
Over dinner, Claudia was telling her mom about how she wanted to get a bicycle for christmas and her mom's reply sounded just like what my mom would say. "No, because our house has no space" and such.

It was also nice to see her animals again. All three dogs and four cats, the new addition would be Gingko the fifth cat. The dogs didn't bark at me like how they would when people enter the house. Cadbury the cat didn't hiss at me!! Truffle is still kinda my favourite cat partly because I played with her when she was just a typical little kitten. My heart aches for her seeing how the unfortunate accident has affected her mental (and physical?) capabilities now. ):

I left some of my cupcakes for Claudia's family and took the rest of them home, along with 6 of her oatmeal cookies and a new packet of flour, some icing sugar, two new bottles of vanilla extract and red food colouring. I didn't use them because it turned out there were some at her house. Good thing we live just two bus stops away from each other. Taking public transport with two handfuls isn't exactly convenient, you know.
Well, I guess you can expect more of me baking in the future! (:

I don't think I'll be meeting her next week since I'm flying off to GuiLin (China) on the 25th. So Merry Christmas, old friend!

Read Claudia's blog post on this special day here.

an update

2010-12-14T01:48:00.006+08:00

Movies I have watched in the past week:
1. Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (ironically I never watched the previous ones)
2. Skyline (FREAKING SCARY AND DISGUSTING)

A couple of posts back I was complaining and ranting about how worried I was about my eczema acting up on my right hand.

Good news! It has recovered. (:
All that's left are the marks, like dark pigmentation (but it's slowly fading). And the skin of my palm feels plastic-y, like the new shiny skin that is revealed after you peel off a scab. Yeah, my eczema dried up and became scabs which I then peeled off.

I CAN SEE MY PALM LINES AGAIN!!! You know how palm lines are supposed to tell your general life story and future and these lines can change over time? Maybe my hand decided to have eczema as an excuse to change palm lines. Either for the better or for the worse. :\ HAHA. Okay I don't know.

I was very happy and surprised at how fast it recovered. I went to see my family doctor last Monday and she gave me some dermatosis cream to apply and this potassium-something-manganate solution that I have to dilute in water and soak my hand in twice daily. And she also gave me antibiotics.

I swear it worked like a charm. Because the next day, my eczema started drying up. No more disgusting pus/liquidy discharge from my hand anymore! :D
So I religiously used all three of my medicines. I didn't even need to wrap up my hand in bandages when I went out to see Rachelle and Loke off to Cambodia last Wednesday.

Oh! And the doctor gave me a 5-day MC. I still wanted to shoot and turned up for training last Tuesday but my coach insisted I make use of my MC and rest for the whole week. She even asked me to come the next day to help out with SCATT. Not being able to shoot and still being forced to watch others shoot. That made me pretty sad. ):

But oh well. I didn't go for training on Thursday and Friday and that allowed me to finally get started on my homework pile. Heh.

ANYWAY! Yesterday (Monday) I finally got to touch my gun after a whole week of abstinence! :D
I'm probably the only one there who brings a bottle of baby powder along with their gun and periodically spams baby powder on their hand and gun grip during training. I want to get dettol wipes to wipe my gun grip. I believe it is a nest of germs/bacteria. :S

This is the last week of training until school reopens. And I have to shoot two trials within four days because I missed the last two (there are a total of three competitions for selection trials). Omg.

Okay time to sleep. Good morning!

NOT GONNA STEAL MY PHONE BITCH

2010-12-08T02:18:00.003+08:00

So I was walking to the mrt station after training on Tuesday. Texting while I walked.

"Excuse me!" Someone called out from the steps to my right. "Excuse me!"

I continued walking until the owner of the voice walked down and approached me. A Tamil beng, definitely younger than me. Beside him was an even younger Tamil beng who had gelled up hair with highlights. They both had ear piercings.

Naturally, something inside me sensed some kind of trouble was going to happen.

"Can I borrow your phone to make a call?" The Tamil beng asked.

I looked at him for a split second, not knowing what/how to react. "You want to borrow my phone?" I repeated.

"Yes. I want to call my brother and ask him where he is." He replied, and then looked back at me expectingly.

OH HELL YOU'RE TRYING TO GET MY PHONE AND RUN AWAY WITH IT DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW BITCH, the warning siren in my head was wailing loud.

"Hmm, okay. Let me call him for you," I said. I dialed the number as he told me.

"What's your name?" I asked the Tamil beng while waiting to get through to the other end of the line.

"Lugi." (or however you spell it)

"Lugi? Okay."

Just then the person on the other end picked up. "Hello?"

"Hello? Is this Lugi's brother?" I asked.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"Well your brother, Lugi, asked to borrow my phone to call you. He wants to know where you are."

"... Huh? What?" Apparently he didn't quite catch what I said. -_-

At that point, Lugi reached out his hand, wanting to speak to his brother using MY phone. I thought OH CRAP OH CRAP HE WANTS TO TAKE MY PHONE. NO BITCH YOU AIN'T TAKING MY PHONE I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU!!

I tried to sound as firm as I could and told him, "No, I'm talking to him for you."

"You're Lugi's brother right? He wants to know where. are. you." I repeated, slowing down on the last three words. He replied but I couldn't comprehend what he said.

Looks like I have to let Lugi speak to his bro personally, I thought. Oh crap what am I going to do? I can't let him lay even a finger on my phone!

To my own surprise, I acted fast, pressed the speaker button on my iPhone and let Lugi speak to his bro on speaker. All the while I was holding onto my phone as tightly as I could.
They spoke in Tamil so I had absolutely no idea what was going on with them.
After that phone call to his bro, I helped him call another number like three times but to no avail. Then we made a final call to his bro again.

"Okay nevermind" were Lugi's last words to me.

I quickly walked away, never turning back. My heart was still beating freaking fast even after I was safe on the train home.

Possibly the scariest shit I've ever encountered this year, if not my life.
I mentioned that the bengs were Tamil but I'm not being racist okay. Even if the bengs were Chinese, I'd have done the same.
And maybe I might have been quick to judge. I mean, would you trust a teen who is obviously too young to have highlights and ear piercings? Would you trust him with your valuable even though you've never met him before? I'm a teen myself and I wouldn't.
But who knows if Lugi really was telling the truth and merely wanted to borrow my phone for awhile? That's the thing. You never know. It's always better to be safe than sorry. ALWAYS.

I'm quite proud of myself though, for staying calm and being able to protect myself and prevent a potential theft. :D

Readers, learn from my experience. If a stranger asks to borrow your phone and you're too scared/don't want to be bad and say no, just keep calm and you'll know what to do. (:

SCMS 2010

2010-12-08T01:05:00.004+08:00

WALKING IN THE F1 PIT AT 1.30AM!

Waiting waiting waiting

Volunteered for SCMS 2010 on Saturday and Sunday! Saturday was the distribution of race packs. WeiTing, Jasmine, Ester and I took the job of being at the back-end. That is basically staying at the back corridors and throwing shirts whenever a volunteer from the counter comes in and asks for one. It was really slack. Ester and I got so bored we found a pencil on the floor and started playing and doodling on the cardboard boxes which the shirts were in.

We were released at 10+PM and we headed to Starbucks at raffles city and stayed there. Tham, WeiLe and two of WeiTing's friends joined us. I played monopoly deal for the first time in my life. Quickly got the hang of it after the first game. :D

Reporting time for Sunday's duty was 1.30AM but we were late and reached half an hour later. Haha. BUT I WAS FEELING QUITE HYPED UP BECAUSE I GOT TO WALK ON F1 PIT GROUNDS AT FREAKING 1.30AM!! HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN DO THAT! HEHEHEHE.

Okay so yadda yadda, got stationed at Ekiden point 4 (the relay race) which was at east coast park. Played a few more rounds of monopoly deal while waiting then we got all tired.

Flagoff for the full marathon was at 5 I think. And even before daylight started creeping in, some runners already passed by our station which was at their 20km mark. Omg.

AND I SAW MY SISTER RUNNING!!!! But she didn't see me although I did cheer for her. ): I was standing at the side of the road with WeiTing and Tham for so long! Annoyed WeiTing by going "WHERE'S MY JIEJIE?!" every now and then. Hehehe :D

Lunch at Cafe Cartel after the whole thing ended. We were so exhausted and stone-y. :\

Well, it was fun. (: Plus I got two Flash&Pay nets cards to spend! :D

looking on the bright side

2010-12-05T23:30:00.002+08:00

For the first time ever I stayed awake for 30 hours! Such an unhealthy achievement, but an achievement nonetheless. (:

AND! I stayed out overnight! It was quite fun. :D But it took a toll on my eczema-stricken hand which I bandaged for protection. Thank goodness for Ester who helped me change the dressing the night we stayed out. I swear she's like my godmother (although she's 12 days younger than me). Hahaha.

[WTF I JUST SPILLED ICE LEMON TEA ALL OVER THE FLOOR FTS LET ME GO CLEAN IT UP - WITH ONE HAND]

Okay back. So anyway, I came home today, took out the bandages, got disgusted by my own hand, tried to shower using only my good left hand.
As I soaked my hand in a bowl of warm water that Mom gave me, I broke down.
I didn't cry because it hurt or what. I cried because I hated how I had to have such sensitive hands. I wondered why it had to act up now, of all times, when it hasn't in a couple of years.
I got worried that this would jeopardize my chance of getting into the team. What if I was forced to rest and stop shooting until my hand heals? That would take at least a week or two and I would miss selection trials. I cried because my life would be practically over then. I would have nothing left to fight with because grades aren't the only thing that is important and I know my grades will never be good enough.
I cried because I felt so unjust. Why is God doing this to me? When I'm already fighting a losing battle, and I have this one last chance of redeeming myself. And now I'm on the verge of losing this chance. All because of one stupid hand. As if my life isn't already screwed enough?

Do you know how it feels like? When everything finally seemed to be doing fine for once, and then it all comes crashing down all of a sudden?

But to say that I'm the unluckiest person in the whole world would be wrong. Because I know I'm not. People have it much worse than I have. Some have even more severe skin conditions, some their limbs amputated. The worst part is, they have no one to take care of them. No one to shower love, care and concern on them.

And I guess I'm still blessed in this way, that I have my family and friends like Ester who never cringed or anything at my unsightly hand and even insisted on helping me bandage it. <3

Looking on the bright side really helps. I'm feeling a lot better now. (:

I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow.

Next post: My 30-hour "camp"

Guilty

2010-12-01T02:21:00.002+08:00

I have always loved white tigers. I always thought they were so beautiful with their white coat and blue eyes. They have always been one of my favourite big cats.

But that was until I came across this article about white tigers.

While the white or golden tabby coloration of these animals may be pretty, what the zoos won’t tell you is that, in reality, it’s a deadly genetic mutation. THEY ARE NOT A SUBSPECIES, and are not albino.

The white gene is a double-recessive one caused mostly by inbreeding (in a natural mating, there is only a one in 10,000 chance that a tiger will be white), which is why they say that it exists ‘only in captivity’. Zoos are not willing to wait for this one in 10,000 miracle tiger, and so find that the only other way to produce them is through inbreeding.

Learn about the truth and read the whole article here.

girlfriends

2010-12-01T00:37:00.002+08:00

Finally went out with Joan, QiQian, Grace Loke and Rachelle on Monday!
We watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Yes, my second time watching it.
And I think we spent more money on food than on anything else. Lunch at Thai Express, Soup Spoon after the movie, some sushi outlet along the passage to city hall. Joan and I decided on a whim to share a bowl of udon there. The soup was damn nice! :D

So happy I got to meet up with them. (:

Oh look, it's December. I swear this year is passing exceptionally fast. It's December which means school is gonna start one month later. That means time to start studying and doing homework, which I have not even touched at all. I don't even know where are my chemistry and maths holiday revision packages. Omg.
AND IT'S TIME TO CLEAR MY ROOM. Nearly half the bed in the study room is filled with my notes and magazines and things all stacked in piles. Sigh I don't even know where and how to start. ):

Personality Test

2010-11-28T23:56:00.002+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Some personality test I just took for fun. Rather accurate. Except I don't "flirt and behave seductively" and I don't have "admirers hanging off my arms". Wts? Haha.

Check yours out! http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

It's a beautiful night

2010-11-28T17:58:00.004+08:00

Is it the look in your eyes?
Or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you.

DAMN YOU SWEATY PALMS

2010-11-27T22:41:00.006+08:00

Wow. Where do I begin?

It has been shooting, shooting and more shooting in the past 5 days. And the sweat glands of my hands work especially well when I'm holding onto something in an air-conditioned room. The result? A gun grip covered in palm sweat that smells like wet socks after each training session. Ewww.

And because of this, my eczema is acting up again. ): It has been dormant for a couple of years but now it's starting again. If you don't know what eczema is, it's basically a skin condition/allergy reaction... thingy on your hands and feet. For me it's just hands. Yeah.

And my finger now hurts like fuck cos there are CRACKS on it and straightening my finger hurts as well. ):

Think I'll start bringing a bottle of baby powder for trainings from next week on.

Anyway, I went to crash Claudia's lectures at TP on Thursday! There were two lectures and we sat with WanYee!!! for the second one. I barely understood what the lecturers were talking about but I had fun. No one even gave me a second glance which meant I passed off as a poly student! I kept going "I'm a poly student!" which annoyed Claudia. Hehehehe.
I SHOULD HAVE TOTALLY GONE TO POLY INSTEAD OF WASTING MY LIFE IN JC MAN.

Sigh, oh well.

Caught Megamind after training yesterday! I know I'm slow okay. I don't know why people say it's not good. In my opinion it was pretty funny and cute. (:

HTNS monthly shoot this morning. Personal best score so far. The guys did well too. Mighty pleased. :D
Hope I can keep this up!

P.S. I hate my sweaty palms. ):

getting slizzard

2010-11-21T22:05:00.004+08:00

Life has been a little less mundane now that training has started since Thursday.
And I've got training from Monday to Friday this coming week, plus a monthly competition shoot on Saturday.
That's taking the public transport for 2 hours daily. There goes all my afternoons.
There goes my life. Not that I hate shooting. Haha. Just that it's so hard to plan outings now. ):

I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows with Sis on Thursday night. So awesome. And I'm going to watch it again with QiQian and gang because I promised them I would. Now they're all just waiting for me to tell them when I'm actually free. Omg I feel so guilty. ):
Sigh.

Oh yes, went out with Ayu on Wednesday to catch The Social Network which was interesting. We were freeeeezing in the theatre. Remind me to bring a jacket if I ever go to Cineleisure again. Had dinner and accompanied her as she had her express pedicure. Haha.

OGL interview tomorrow morning. I hope I won't fail this interview like I have in every single interview in the past. I swear it is like the one thing that brings me down, ruin my life, crash my hopes.

Wish me luck. :\

time to turn the page

2010-11-19T21:56:00.001+08:00

2010-11-17T02:14:00.002+08:00

I think I should stay off Facebook for a few days.
Until the whole post-camp and -graduation dinner fever with pictures/videos/status updates die down and all.

Seeing them just... I don't know... adds salt to the wound that's trying to heal?

God, why is it taking such a long time to heal? I mean, it's been almost 5 months already. It's a trivial thing that I should have long gotten over.

Yet, why am I still so haunted by it?

What my mind goes through at 1.42AM

2010-11-15T01:41:00.002+08:00

Hello there,

WanYee
Jac
Darice
Jane

and last but not least,
Claudia

I miss you guys. Let's please meet up soon. ):

2010-11-12T23:15:00.002+08:00

OP IS OVER! YAY!
Didn't really answer the examiner's question and my answer was too short I think, but oh well. Screw OP I'm through with you!!

Had class BBQ on Thursday after OP. Form teacher was really, really annoying. Because of him, Grace Loke, Rachelle, Lydia, Iris and I had to carry a big drink dispenser practically all across Singapore. Oh and we had to get the paper plates, forks, matches, firestarters and ice too. Seriously. -_-
The form teacher invited some GP teachers to the bbq as well. So we just mingled around ourselves as a class, staying as far away from the teachers (or from the form teacher) as possible. Lol.
Didn't eat much because we had super late lunch at Wendy's before dropping by Grace's house and buying those stuff.
The guys got bored and started playing with the excess matchsticks and spraying deodorant on the fire to flare it up. Then Llelleythan tried to burn his super long toe hair. HAHAHAHA.
Cabbed home with Llelley and Joan. It was close to midnight when I got home and I was so drained.

And people are going for CCAAB camp tomorrow. Kinda envy those who get to go have fun and make new friends and all.

Yeah okay whatever. Life's unfair. Deal with it.

Oh oh I want some more

2010-11-10T18:41:00.001+08:00

My current earworm: Animal - Neon Trees

rage

2010-11-07T18:28:00.002+08:00

Okay my throat doesn't hurt now. It's just my nose, either blocked or running. I used up more than one packet of tissue during organ lesson this morning.

The happy thing about today:
I got a DISTINCTION for my Grade 7 Organ practical! Yay! :D It's amazing because the last time I got a distinction (back then it was called Honours) was for my Grade 1 practical. Even the numerical score this time is higher than my Grade 1 score. Can you believe it. Lol.
More motivation to work hard and do well for Grade 8! (:

Anyway Dad was being his usual annoying self today. He decided to take his parents out for lunch this afternoon. He got impatient waiting for Sis and I to arrive while everyone else were there, since we were still at AMK having our music lesson. According to Mom, Dad was complaining about us taking up music lessons. He said it's useless and he doesn't even hear us play.

Well, first of all, Dad.

Our music fees are paid by Mom and not you. We're not even "wasting" YOUR hard-earned money, so you don't have the right to complain.

You don't even hear us play? Ask yourself, how often are you at home? And yes, you HAVE heard ME practise a few times. I even remembered you commenting somewhere along the lines of "I suck". And that was VERY encouraging, Dad, really.

Learning an instrument is NOT useless. Just so you know, it's a hobby, an art, a platform to express yourself, a stress-reliever. It develops a person's creativity and dexterity. Learning an instrument teaches one to appreciate art and create your own; have fun with it. It teaches you patience and resilience. And I'm going to learn as many instruments as I want, whether you like it or not.

Why is it that you always never seem to be supportive towards the things I do and the choices I make on my own? I'm sorry but whenever this happens, my mind just brings up the issue of my aspiration. The issue is NOT with me or my aspiration, it's with you.

I'm sick of hearing "You're naive and your ideals are stupid/You should be more practical and aim for a more PROFITABLE job/If you really intend to, you're on your own."

I guess all I want to hear from you (or actually anyone else from my family) is a "Go ahead, I'll support you."

Okay I know this doesn't even link at all, but yeah. I apologize if you read through this entire rant. It has wasted your time.

2010-11-05T22:25:00.002+08:00

I woke up this afternoon and my throat hurt like #@$^$%*!
I feel like there's this lump of mucus stuck somewhere in between the passage to my nose and the back of my throat, which makes it quite impossible to try and cough it all out like you would when you have phlegm. IT'S ANNOYING AS HELL. >:(

And now I have headaches. ):

Urgh I hate this.

CUTE SHIRTS I WANT

2010-11-05T00:43:00.002+08:00

Urghh I have that annoying feeling/sensation again. It never fails to indicate that I'll fall sick soon. Please, not when OP is a week away! ):

So (technically) yesterday concluded my year as a junior college freshman, and the end of having a very slack post-promos timetable. Other than the O-freaking-P left to prep for, I'M FREE NOW SO TIME TO MEET UP FRIENDSSSSSSSS.

Lunch with the shooters plus Janson, Seow and May. Pictures coming up! Then had the last training for the next two weeks when the selection trials will begin. Have I mentioned how scared I am about this whole "make it or break it" thing? Yes I think I have.

Anyway, been spending my nights on tumblr, tumblin' away. It's my current favourite past-time. Hahaha.
And I was browsing through Forever21!

Awesome Spongebob tee is awesome, what more can I say?

I want this shirt because it has the cute little cat that Pepe Le Pew the skunk is always chasing after, thinking she's a female skunk. Hahaha. And it's also the cat (just found out the name's Penelope) that I have a keychain of, given to me by Reynard and SiWai. From LA Disneyland okay!! And no I wouldn't wear this only when I'm moody. Why would anyone wear adorable shirts like this when they're in a bad mood??? Doesn't make any sense.

I need more clothes in my wardrobe. And ear studs! Someone go shopping with me?? (((((:

I'm Tumblin' it

2010-10-30T17:22:00.002+08:00

Smackthatt has created a TUMBLR! But of course she won't be abandonning good ol' Blogger. Blogger is about more personal things and her everyday goings-on in life.

Follow her, will you? (:

CLICK HERE

2010-10-30T16:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was a total mad rush with everyone printing out their WRs (written reports) at the last hour. It was the official submission date after all.
My group was no exception. I mean, we did get it printed beforehand. But yesterday, we spotted SEVERAL stupid typos and small errors including grammatical ones. So, we had to get those pages reprinted.
The form teacher allowed one member from each group to go out of school at 11plus to a print shop and I went on this "rescue mission", since my group members had chinese lesson to attend.
And so Lyn, MinJie, Joan and I took a cab down to Bukit Timah Shopping Centre to get our WRs printed. Don't ask me how, but we spent at least 2 hours there. Cabbed back to school to submit the WR and hung around at the void deck with a few others to accompany poor Terence who had to wait for the last WR of our class.

Seems like my Friday afternoons are always spent in a bitching/gossiping/talking session. Lol.

Training began this week and it'll get more intense over the next few months. Selection trials are gonna start soon. If you didn't know I started out as the weakest/lousiest among the girls because I didn't actually get in through skill. So I'm scared that my best efforts won't be enough. I'm really scared.

We're the kings of anything

2010-10-23T00:27:00.004+08:00

I AM PROMOTING. (Y) Grades aren't great at all but I'm still quite happy.
I just hope my class will promote together. You're not gonna advance. You guys are gonna promote okay! *Cross fingers*

Went to One North for some ice cream in the afternoon with QiQian, Grace Loke, Joan, Ryan, Gerald and Westcott. The guys left after hanging around for some time depleting my phone battery to 28%(!!!). QQ, Loke, Joan and I went outside to sit and have a nice talk.

Ryan's obsessing over Mega Jump on my iPhone

Our finished cups, stacked into an incomplete pyramid.

The next leaning tower?

QQ and I. Yes that's a Low Kay Hwa book which I borrowed from Gerald, called I Believe You. It's the kind you can easily finish reading in a couple of hours. This local author writes very sweet love stories, but kinda too over-the-top. ESPECIALLY THE CHARACTERS' NAMES. What with Destiny Wu and freaking Zhou Jie Lun and Jacky Wu Zhong Xian. Omg. -___-

Oops digressing!

QQ and Loke!

The same three pictures from a different angle (Joan's iPhone).

Joan, this is to compensate for refusing to take a picture with us!! Heheheheh

I really like the One North residence. I wouldn't mind renting an apartment there for the next year and I can wake up at 7 everyday and stroll to school. Lol.

The seats we were sitting on.

The ice cream parlour

Haha I like this picture a lot. Look at QQ!

Joan's fist

QQ taking pictures of Loke and I.

I don't know exactly how long we were just sitting there, literally talking about all kinds of things under the sun, but I'm pretty sure it was quite a long time.
Love them girls so much. <3

2010-10-21T22:24:00.003+08:00

People need to stop making self-degratory remarks saying how much they suck or how miserable their lives are.
Especially when they have everything others can only dream of having.
Especially when they have already taken away what others wanted so badly.

Just stop okay? It's unfair, even insulting to the others.
You don't even know what it really feels like when you're already better off than the others.

Better than me.

So please stop. Because you're not making the others feel any better.

2010-10-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

Oh so very often.

Getting my promos results tomorrow. Hope I didn't screw up too badly.

'Cause baby you're a firework

2010-10-18T22:43:00.006+08:00

Warning: This is a very wordy post!

Post-promos timetable is a total waste of my lifeeeee. For the next two days, I'm only going to school for one hour of lessons which is -_- and I can't even leave school until 1.10pm because that's the school rule.
Like I only have chemistry lecture from 11.10am to 12.10pm tomorrow. That leaves me with all the free time in the world before that and after. Zzz.
It's even more epic for Wednesday. There's some talk followed by PW till 9.30am and that's it for the day.

Thinking of bringing my hard drive /(and) laptop so I can watch Glee in school. Or maybe a book. I'll see.

Okay so I know I ought to blog about last week as promised. While waiting for the pictures to upload onto photobucket, here's what happened!

Friday (8th Oct):
Met up with the pistolers for end-of-promo celebrations at Island Creamery!

Saturday (9th Oct):
Buffet dinner at Vienna Restaurant in early celebration of Sis' 22nd birthday! Dad threw a temper when he came to pick us up, complaining that we're wasting his time by not getting ready before he came. Sis and I were so freaking hopping mad pissed at him for his unreasonable lack of patience but it kinda wore off as we ate. Food heals. (:

Sunday (10th Oct):
Sis' actual birthday, yes on the oh-so-awesome 10/10/10. Went to Takashimaya with Mom and her to shop. Delish ramen dinner at Tampopo! And I also got my unlimited texts and mms plan! Yay!

Monday:
(extremely unproductive) PW meeting at Kay's house, then met Joan and QiQian at Clarke Quay for dinner and such. (:

Tuesday:
Had training (shot like shit as always), then made the big Edric signboards which never got used in the end. Headed to Everything with Fries with Ayu and Joan for lunch, window shopped at Vivo, caught Eat Pray Love with them. It was kind of an impromptu thing to call SiWai out to join us for the movie. Lol. It was a good movie. (: Sat at Burger King after the movie and talked/bitched till 10pm.

Thursday-Friday:
AC Games day! The weather was so harsh! Everyone had red skin by the end of Friday. I also nearly busted my right ankle, got a bruise on my leg and my right wrist was pain. Kudos to the classmates who participated actively in the games and gave their all! I mainly played dodgeball and captain's ball and the one game of basketball.
The scariest/funniest dodgeball game I played was with SC9. My teammates slowly dwindled down to just SiWai, Ryan and me. Within the next minute both of them got hit, leaving me the last man standing. When I realised that, I exclaimed "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!" It really was quite scary okay. All those SC9 guys had a ball each in their hands, ready to throw them at me. It was like David vs many Goliaths at once. ):
So anyway, I got hit in the end and my class lost. Hahaha. On hindsight I should have aimed to catch a ball to bring a teammate back into the game instead of trying to hit one of the SC9 people. Oh well.
Our class didn't win any games but at least we played them fair and square. Unlike some classes who had their friends from other classes playing to help them win. And it wasn't just one 'intruder' at a time, it was a few. But whatever. It's just AC games, as what Ernest would say.

I really love Joan, Ayu and SiWai for being such amazing friends. They gave me a birthday surprise at Clarke Quay and we went on an expedition around Chinatown. I kinda suspected they were planning something so I just played along but really didn't expect what they would actually do! Ayu baked me 17 cupcakes plus 1 "just in case" and also gave me a bottle of Hoegaarden beer. :o Joan and SiWai treated me to Billy Bombers and SiWai gave me a fire extinguisher sign. LOL.
Received more than a hundred birthday wishes via Facebook, text and Twitter.
Thanks guys. My birthday this year has been one of the sweetest. (: